friendship

‘After a disagreement, my best friend deleted me from her life. It was a relief.’

It’s been over a year since my friend deleted me from all social media channels.

I found it a little surprising, as they were the person who initiated the friendship and pushed their way into my life.

They called me their “best friend” very early on in the friendship, which should have translated into alarm bells there and then.

While you're here, watch the Mamamia team reveal their relationship deal-breakers. Post continues below.


Video via Mamamia.

We had a disagreement, and I thought, you know what? I'll let it cool down.

The last thing I said to them was, “It’s okay. I love you. We'll talk soon. I need to go to sleep for work though…”

A few weeks later, we still didn’t talk… And then when I went to message her, I noticed that we weren’t even friends on Facebook anymore.

I felt like sh*t for ages. I ugly cried and felt low. I had confided a lot of my life and invested a solid two years into this person.

But I also felt so much relief.

The reason this person deleted me was because I showed them the same respect that they had shown me. I told them an uncomfortable truth and felt as if they were taking an attitude with me.

I felt horrible about it, don't get me wrong. But I just never felt the need to try to rectify it - they had shown me who they were, a hypocrite, happy to dish out truths to everyone but themselves.

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I also had a lot going on. I had just started a new job, my grandmother was very sick, and my health wasn’t in the best condition.

I never try to use my mental health as an excuse to treat people badly though. Nor should anyone.

On the last few occasions that I had gone out with this friend, they had treated the retail and hospitality staff poorly. I couldn’t understand how they could behave that way, as they had worked in those types of fields, where they had to deal with people kindly.

I always felt embarrassed and shocked. The first time I had excused it, thinking they were having an off day…but it happened on most occasions that we ventured out. They turned into anxious times for me.

I would keep thinking about what my wedding would be like with them there - if they would treat my friends and family nicely, or snub them and read into things too much.

The anxiety that came with our friendship ended up being the reason I didn't want to patch things up.

Listen: The Mamamia Out Loud team discuss the extra tension that occurs between friends when we can't see them. Post continues below.


Although it was sad, in standing up for myself and my beliefs, I gained more self-respect.

It took me 26 years to stop accepting any type of friendship.

I have always had high standards and kept my circles small. I'm all for giving second chances, and if anything, I gave this friend too many chances. They would blatantly disrespect me instead of building me up; they would tell me I was being a pushover for being nice.

I wish this person nothing but the best. I hope they find happiness, and what it is that they’re searching for. 

This person needed peace and, well, they got peace away from me.

Feature Image: Instagram @ansenh.

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