My boyfriend cheated in his last relationship, and the longer we are together the more it unnerves me.
When we first started dating, he was very upfront about how his cheating in his past relationship.
They’d been living together a long time, and things had gotten stale.
They’d stopped communicating, stopped having sex, and eventually he’d cheated.
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He was honest about what happened, and he definitely wasn’t proud. But he was prepared to have some pretty nuanced conversations about why he cheated.
At the beginning of our romance, it made for some really great conversations. We discussed the perils of long-term relationships, the conflict between love and sexuality and how often we cheat when we feel the worst about ourselves.
While I’ve only ever been on the other side of cheating, it was interesting to get some insight into the why and the how.
He was also never disparaging about his ex and instead focused on his own behaviour.
He wasn’t just some guy that cheated and then blamed it on his ex. He took accountability and ownership over his past mistakes, and he didn’t try to make himself somehow look like the hero.
There was a humility to him that I found undeniably appealing. Despite his past transgressions, he had serious good guy vibes.
He was someone I couldn’t define by his past choices, and ultimately, we fell in love.
I determined pretty quickly that his past behaviour wasn’t going to get in the way of our future. However, it was much easier to dismiss his cheating when we were in the clutches of lust and romance.
Back when it felt like our sex life would never become stale, or we’d never find ourselves stuck in a boring routine. It somehow felt like we would never fall victim to the mundane aspects of life and therefore I’d never worry about him cheating.