"It feels worse than a breakup." I was dumped by my work wife.

I'm a chronic overthinker, so when my work wife dumped me, I felt empty for weeks. I have only just accepted the reality.

It all started when they mentioned they had resigned. I was shocked - I thought they were enjoying the role, and we always had great thought-provoking conversations. You know; the ones you have with someone you consider your nearest and dearest.

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Losing a work wife is the worst feeling. It can feel worse than a breakup, and that’s because we spend all our time with them - a whole eight hours a day for five days a week. 

That person who you bond with over work and your lives in between is super in tune with you. They speak with you every day, and you learn just about everything there is to know about them.

Surely in this case, a routine of talking all the time meant we were a little more than just colleagues? Nope, clearly not in this person’s books.

I gave them the benefit of the doubt and told myself they probably didn't want to be talked out of their decision to leave. Sometimes we don't need everyone’s opinions clouding our judgment.

I noticed the day they stopped talking to me. I told myself that they were probably just super busy, as it was one of our busiest days.

But the next day I didn't hear a peep from them either, and I wondered if I had done something to offend them.

The day after that, I couldn’t help but confront the situation. I asked if they were okay. I still didn't get much out of them. In hindsight, it just felt like they were softening the blow by letting go of me slowly, but surely.


I have high expectations of people, but I pride myself on that. If I metaphorically water a plant, I want to harvest its fruits to enjoy. When it comes to friendship, I will give my all to a person to have a healthy, growing bond.

I should have known when they made their decision and didn't confide in me about their departure that it was the first sign our friendship was probably not going to last beyond the 9-5.

On their last day, I messaged them through our work chat to ask when they were finishing up, and was about to give them details to contact me outside of work. 

I stepped away from my computer to go and heat up some leftovers, and when I arrived back, they had gone. Just. Like. That. No contact number or trace of them on any social media. They just did not want to be found.

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I'm a little gutted. I guess it’s easier for some people to end things than to confront the situation. And people might tell you one thing about what’s happening, but leave out other details or not give you the whole picture. I would never hold a grudge because of that.

I just feel abandoned. It sucks when you support someone day in and out and they just disappear, with no trace.

Maybe they felt disconnected and shy and just left.

But I've realised I need to focus on bigger goals and things happening in my life, both in my career and with the relationships I keep. At the end of the day, the people who want to be in your life will inevitably show up for you, even when it’s awkward or hard. 

They’re the true friends you need.

Anthea Hansen is a freelance writer. You can follow her on Instagram.

Feature Image: Supplied.

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