'Care fatigue' is the collective emotion of 2022. Here's how to handle it, helpfully.

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The news cycle. It feels like a lot. And there's the general feeling that we're all just running in circles right now. For the last few years, in fact. And there's no finish line.

It's ok to admit that it's exhausting. 

We went from the worst bushfires in history, straight into a pandemic. Out of Omicron and into war. And just when we started to get our heads around what's happening in Ukraine, there's suddenly one-in-100-year floods in Australia that have seen entire communities devastated. 

And then sandwiched in between, here we all are, trying to figure out what we can do to help, and when things will all go back to 'normal'. 

We're dealing with grief, uncertainty, loss, a sense of powerlessness and mixed emotions - and it isn’t easy.

Watch: How to spot and combat burnout. Post continues below.

The trauma is relentless. So much so that as the war in Ukraine intensifies, it's somehow getting pushed further and further down our feeds.

An actual war.

People are dying in conflicts they never asked for. People are losing their homes in flood-ravaged towns. Their hardships are just beginning.

But what about the other six wars going on? What about what's happening in Africa and the Middle East? And what about the thousands upon thousands of refugees and asylum seekers that have fled to Australia for a better life, only to wait years for asylum? What about them?

Image: Mamamia/Getty 

As you scroll through your news feed on Facebook and Instagram, it almost feels like you're tackling an agenda. You're being told this is what you need to care about today. This is what needs your attention. This is where you should be helping. 

You're donating here and you're donating there and you're caring about this and you're posting stuff about that - but it never feels like it's enough, does it? 

The guilt is always there. And it's becoming harder and harder to know where to place your care and energy.

Mia Freedman spoke about this feeling in a recent episode of Mamamia Out Loud. 

She said, "To me, this is an extreme version of what women deal with all the time in terms of [how] we're already triaging our lives. We always have multiple tabs open, demanding our attention."

Listen: There's a massive shift in how we think, and talk, about COVID. Have we lost all patience? Post continues below.

"Whether it's our ageing parents, our little children, our mental health, our jobs or finances - whatever it happens to be. We have to triage them, basically on an hourly basis. Who needs me most this morning? Who needs my attention most in this hour? And it's like the news cycle has taken that on now."

She talks about how it can feel difficult because whatever you choose, you're not choosing the other thing - and that can make you feel very guilty. 

"If you're choosing to be interested in what's happening with the war in Ukraine and donating money there, then what about the floods? And then what about the people who've got COVID? And what about the countries where there are no vaccinations? And what about the wars I haven't even realised are going on?"

But then - what about your own world? What about what's going on in your own backyard? School, work, relationships, family, health - the list goes on. 

The birthday party that had to be cancelled. The family holiday that couldn't be. The wedding date that had to be shuffled, yet again.

And then you're hit with a pang of guilt. Because you have a roof over your head. You're not fighting for your life. You're not in a bomb shelter, trying to protect your children. You have food to eat and clothes on your back.

The culpability is real. Almost shameful. 

After we witnessed a worldwide mental health crisis over the past year, the rise of emotional burnout proves that very few of us have been left untouched by the mental cyclone of worry, anxiety and fear.

Psychiatrist and mental health advocate, Dr Kieran Kennedy, said this is reflective of what he's seeing in the clinic.

"We’re seeing a pretty intense emotional load on people, and that’s off the back of two long years of what for many people has felt like the same," he shares.

"I’m talking to and seeing a lot of people who feel fairly exhausted right now - there’s a sense of burnout mentally and emotionally, and I think for a lot of people that’s the first time they’ve considered those feelings as being something that can happen outside the workplace."

This feeling of no endpoint and continuous uncertainty has many of us grappling with what we're dubbing as 'care fatigue'. 

We're all running on a never-ending scroll wheel of hypervigilance.

"As a global and local community we’re moving through some of most challenging times many of us ever had. After the continued uncertainty and change of last year, we’ve entered a period where loss, disasters and the looming consequences of war all feel incredibly raw," said Dr Kennedy.

"It’s (of course) absolutely devastating and an unthinkable blow for those actually going through these or being directly touched by it (and this absolutely and of course deserves our time, compassion and aid), but I’ve seen a lot of people through my work lately who are feeling a real sense of emotional load and powerlessness even if they’re not directly being impacted as well."

"There’s a real sense of fear and anxiety out there at the moment, and that can start to feel like an incredibly heavy mental load to carry around each day."

What are some signs you might be suffering from emotional burnout?

There’s no denying that what the last three years has thrown at us mentally is huge. 

"Once again, that’s of course especially and foremost for those directly impacted by the pandemic, lost loved ones, natural disasters and war," said Dr Kennedy.

"But I’ve found that everyone has been impacted in some way, however indirect, and even just moving through the world right now facing the daily challenges of uncertainty, seeing and feeling pain for others and wondering what’s next is hugely confronting for a lot of people."

"As part of that, a sense of emotional numbness and apathy can absolutely develop."

With many people feeling and showing signs of emotional exhaustion and burnout right now, Dr Kennedy said it has become more important than ever to make a conscious move to call it out, talk about it and prioritise our health of mind.

And it all starts with being able to identify the signs and assessing physical and mental fatigue, stress and anxiety, and burnout.

"It often surprises people when I talk about burnout being something that doesn’t just happen in the workplace or from overworking, and this is something we’ve absolutely had to confront more and lean into across the pandemic and everything that’s already come our way this year," said Dr Kennedy.

He explains 'burnout' as a phenomenon related to a chronic stress response, where the body and brain basically starts to react to prolonged stress, emotion and mental loads. 

"While classically it was first described (and still is) as something that happens within the workplace, we now know that emotional burnout can occur from any source of prolonged mental load where we begin to feel our resources and ability to carry those loads (emotionally and mentally) is starting to be outmatched by demands the world around us is pushing."

According to Dr Kennedy, some common signs of emotional burnout might include:

- A sense of emotional and mental fatigue (even if you’re well slept or feeling physically rested)
- A loss of enjoyment in things or your usual zest
- A sense of apathy or numbness (particularly a sense that you do care and feel, but can’t quite feel that emotionally)
- Cynicism and negativity (about the world, society or even everyday things that normally wouldn’t draw your attention)
- An increasing sense of exhaustion and difficulty just carrying on
- Irritability, snapping or acting out of character
- Changes to your usual routines like sleep, appetite or energy for exercise
- Emotional instability; crying more, feeling more emotional or rising anxiety.

"It’s important to flag, particularly for those who’ve been directly impacted by things and have been or are going through a really tough time, that many of these symptoms can overlap with other mental health struggles like depression or anxiety disorders." 

"It’s thus really important to check in with your GP or local mental health line if this list is brining up a lot of ticks for you and you’re starting to really feel their weight."

What can you do if you're feeling this way? 

Just remember that feeling any of those emotions is valid. Feeling it, facing it and validating it is the first step towards letting yourself process and shift the negative emotions.

"As is often the case, my first port of call here would be to really lean into acknowledging this stuff," agrees Dr Kennedy. 

"It’s been an incredibly stressful, uncertain and difficult few years with the pandemic and many are only starting to feel that now after years of adrenaline and hard work at staying a float carrying them through."

"On top, 2022 is bringing some gut wrenching new areas of loss, uncertainty and fear. So this is hard - really hard - and it’s important we start talking about emotional burnout, knowing it’s not uncommon or a sign of failure or not caring, and that it’s something we can be doing little bits each day to support ourselves and our loved ones."

Along with recognising and validating these emotions and knowing it's not uncommon, there are some other things you can do at an individual level to help manage these symptoms.

Dr Kennedy recommends six keys things you can do to make it through a sense of emotional burnout and mental load.

1. Never underestimate the “better out than in” mantra.

Small things can make big impacts. Simply just talking to someone - whether it be friends, family or a professional - can help lighten the load if you're not feeling like your usual self. 

"We see (clinically and in research) consistently the power that comes from people speaking out their thoughts, emotions and struggles, and this is really important when there’s chronic stress and a lot of emotional load." 

"Checking in with your partner, family and friends often on how you and they are feeling about things, how you’re holding up and (even more simply) what you’re feeling can be a powerful way to help stop that mental load building and blocking up."

Chances are, you’re not alone with how you're feeling right now.

2. Remove the guilt.

This? This is a big one. And it's everything we were talking about above. 

"A compounding factor I’ve been seeing more of lately is a sense of guilt that people often carry around when it comes to emotional burnout. There’s often a sense of 'but others have it so much worse' or 'what do I have to be feeling exhausted or upset about'."

We feel seen.

"While perspective, reality checking and compassion for others directly affected is absolutely not a bad thing and not something we should be curbing or stopping, it’s really important to know that emotional and mental suffering doesn’t exist on a comparison scale."

"Your struggles and feelings (including feeling burnout or emotionally exhausted) are valid - so don’t compound them by pushing them away or covering them with guilt."

3. Find gratitude.

With this in mind, it's still important to find gratitude in what we still have - Dr Kennedy said this has been shown to help in times of emotional strain, uncertainty and loss.

"I often recommend a regular gratitude practice to people struggling through change and heavy mental loads." 

"Even if it doesn’t sound like much, writing down or speaking out three things each night to be thankful for that day (the more ‘every day’ and simple the better - a warm shower for example), can over time really help reorient our mind to what’s still good and going right."

4. Helping where we can.

If you're able to offer assistance - big or small - it will help ease some of the feelings of helplessness and overwhelm, making you feel more hopeful.

"Pro-social behaviours and moves to help those affected by what we’re seeing and feeling for has been associated with helping shift that sense of powerlessness and apathy that mental burnout can bring," said Dr Kennedy.

"Whether it’s the floods, what’s happening in Ukraine or something else you’ve been worried about and feeling for, even tiny moves (like a donation or signing a petition) can help keep the mental load feeling a little lighter."

5. Take breaks.

Limiting news and social media consumption can help shut off negative emotions.

 "Just like through the pandemic in that past two years, it can feel really emotionally loud right now on social media, the TV and online. Once again, that’s for obvious clear and important causes - but it’s more than ok to feel the need to take a break, and this has been shown to help." 

And just because you're limiting your exposure to news, doesn't mean you don't care about other people who are suffering. This kind of self-care is actually pivotal if you want to have the energy to help others - so keep that in mind.

"Some actively scheduled time to take a break from the news, social news feeds or talking about events for a brief period isn’t 'selfish’ or uncaring," said Dr Kennedy.

"It’s important to look after your mental health right now, and if taking a break from things for a bit helps with that, then that’s more than okay."

6. Ramp up your basics and self care.

If you're dealing with emotional burnout, now is the time to embrace self-care and simple mind/body basics. You might need to focus on taking a little more care of yourself than you might otherwise - and that's okay.

"Resting on days off, not feeling guilty about a night in on the couch, and saying no to social engagements if we just need a recharge day are important," said Dr Kennedy.

"Sleep, regular meals and exercise all help discharge emotional strain, improve mood and lower anxiety too so in these coming weeks I’d really recommend people lock these in and protect them during their week."

If any of the above symptoms sound familiar, or the way you're feeling is affecting your day-to-day life, it might be time to speak to a professional about your mental health. Because the earlier you can pinpoint your mental health struggles, the earlier you can put a plan in action.

And when it comes to the bad news cycle, we have to look at the bigger picture - because at the end of the day, there will always be tragedy in the world. We can't control it.

As Mia said, "We have to pace ourselves. Because if you are just an open wound and every terrible image and awful story come into you, you're not going to be able to function and be any good. To yourself or those around you."

For all the ways you can help victims of the floods in NSW and QLD please go here.

If you are under the age of 25, you can contact your local headspace centre, which offers free and confidential treatment.

If any of your symptoms include suicidal or homicidal thoughts, then contact 000 or your local emergency health service.

If you think you may be experiencing depression or another mental health problem, please contact your general practitioner or in Australia, contact Lifeline 13 11 14 for support or  beyondblue 1300 22 4636.

What's your current feels right now? Can you relate with the above? Share your thoughts with us in the comment section below.

Feature image: Getty