After spiralling into a 'really dark place', Jodi Gordon booked herself into rehab.

This post deals with alcoholism and alleged domestic violence and might be triggering for some readers.

In early 2022, Jodi Gordon was in "a really dark place".

The actress had "spiralled" into a mindset that was "intoxicating and all-consuming", before entering rehab for 30 days - a move she says saved her life. 

Now, almost two years on, the actress has posted on Instagram to not only mark her 39th birthday but also celebrate her sobriety.

"I have battled substance abuse for the most part of my life, stepping into recovery at 24 but never being able to stay stopped. On April 7, 2022, I got sober and have stayed sober ever since, completely changing my life in ways I didn't think were possible," she wrote.

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A post shared by Jodi Gordon (@jodigordon)

Gordon came into the public eye at 13. She was modelling around the world, before getting her start on television in her late teens.  

She played Martha MacKenzie on Home and Away, and won two Logie Awards for her performance, then Elly Conway on Neighbours. The now-39-year-old says it was during her time on Ramsay Street that her drinking struggles reached a breaking point.

"I was trying to present something beyond [what] I could pretend to control, trying to do my best, but just sinking," she told Stellar in 2022.

Watch: Fiona O'Loughlin on the impact of alcoholism. Post continues below.

In April 2022, there was an incident between Gordon and her then-partner, investment banker Sebastian Blackler, at a bed-and-breakfast in Kurrajong Heights, 75 kilometres from Sydney. Police applied for AVOs to allegedly protect the pair from one another. No charges were laid, and neither Gordon nor Blackler commented on the allegations lodged by police. 

It was soon after, Gordon underwent a 30-day stint in rehab. Acknowledging "alcohol is my poison", Gordon said "there were no smiles" when her loved ones decided for Gordon to enter the facility. 

"Doing that kind of work [on myself in rehab], I've never, ever gone to those emotional depths and dealt with such unprocessed trauma and pain [before]. It was incredibly scary and painful at times," she said.

"I've chased this illusion that I can drink like a normal person for far too long. In my industry, I think there's a lot of keeping up with appearances. I was trying to present something beyond [what] I could pretend to control, trying to do my best, but just sinking... feeling like I was a small girl in a big world."

While Gordon admitted she feels "shame and guilt" about some mistakes she’s made in the past, she won't let others shame her for going to rehab and has since shared her story even more publicly. 

Nowadays, Gordon is on a different path, studying a Bachelor's degree in Counselling and Communication Skills. She also recently started her first professional job in the mental health space, working for Sane Australia.

"I love this tough journey in a new field, working incredibly hard, working my way up, full of curiosity, wonder and purpose every single day. The future looks so bright."

Gordon was married to former Rugby League player and commentator Braith Anasta from 2012 to 2015. They have one daughter, Aleeia, who they co-parent together.

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A post shared by Jodi Gordon (@jodigordon)

In her recent birthday post, Gordon said her daughter is her biggest joy in life, also crediting her ex-husband Anasta for being a good dad.

"I always wanted a big family, and I got one with my daughter Aleeia. She is unlike any human I have ever known, so loving, fierce, patient, wise, and curious. She is my reason for every day. I love being her teacher and student... Thank you Braith for the wonderful gift of a lifetime,"

"If you have been on this wild ride with me, thank you for seeing my colour when sometimes I have only displayed grey. Thank you for loving me."

This article was originally published in May 2022, and has since been updated with new information.

If this post brought up any issues for you, you can also contact Drug Aware, Australia's 24hr alcohol and drug support line. You can reach them on (08) 9442 5000 or 1800 198 024.

If this post brings up any issues for you, or if you just feel like you need to speak to someone, please call 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732) – the national sexual assault, domestic and family violence counselling service. It doesn’t matter where you live, they will take your call and, if need be, refer you to a service closer to home.

Feature Image: Instagram @jodigordon.