User Comments

hmmmmm... May 14, 2022

@yeahyepyes I am but one in a very long line of what's been going on for decades.  Although I would not intentionally or maliciously hurt another, I am not giving up what makes me happy because it would upset another person.  Sorry, I'm not that altruistic.  Who is, if they are really honest about it?

hmmmmm... May 14, 2022

@rush it would be a financial nightmare neither of us want to deal with.  We make excellent housemates and it's peaceful here now.

hmmmmm... May 13, 2022

@juliannepilgrim I'm sorry for the pain caused you.

You have every right to your opinion. 
Now here is mine:  calling us  "horrible" is not only judgmental, which I'm sure you say you never are, it is wrong.  
What we do may be horrible, but we are not.
I can assure you both my partner and I are valued, contributing, long-standing members of our professional and personal communities.

hmmmmm... May 13, 2022

@miss d I've told my husband numerous times to find someone.  I'd even help!  He is not interested.  As far as my partner disclosing to his wife?  No.  It would absolutely destroy her, but I think she may know.  He and I agree that with this "outlet," we are happier and therefore more attentive, better spouses.  Without it?  Miserable and it would reflect in our lives.

hmmmmm... May 13, 2022

@mamamia-user-936684540 my husband and I have an arrangement of don't ask,  don't tell.  There is no deceit on my part, and any deceit on my partner's is his business with his wife.  While "congratulating" is not what I do, I do celebrate the way I live my life as a balance to my responsibilities first, and my happiness, however pursued, secondary.   Oh hell yeah it's gonna hurt when it's over, but I'm willing to pay the price for what I enjoy now.  As far as hurting others, no.  This stays discreet.  

hmmmmm... May 13, 2022

@rosiecat I fulfill my responsibilities to my family first so no, not selfish.

My husband has the choice to ask for a divorce and chooses not to so no, not abusive.

ucantfindme666 May 13, 2022

@rush yes, my husband knows about my affairs (no details).  We have established boundaries.  I do not respect him any longer, he understands why.  His viewpoint would be interesting, I will ask if he will share.  He tells me I'm much easier to be around and he enjoys the quiet of being left alone.