Thank you for your post and identifying the daily struggle - special needs parenting alongside parenting a typical child is no picnic. My neurodivergent son is now 17 and I relate to the challenges you outline so much! We are years into therapies to help our son self-regulate (speech therapy, OT, psychologist) and some days are really hard notwithstanding he has made noticeable progress. Having a NDIS is now a significant help but also finding some time for you - even if it is just 10 minutes a day for your own self-preservation can be a game changer. In the early days it would be 10 minutes to go for a walk for myself to calm down and breathe and now I have a fairly regimented gym routine to help my coping skills.  Don't be too hard on yourself - we are all doing the very best we can with the resources we have available. 

I work in HR and  flexible/ hybrid working is no longer gendered. We have equal numbers of men and women now on hybrid working arrangements following the pandemic. This has been driven by previously resistant male employees experiencing the working from home environment and its benefits for their lives and don't want to transition back to the prior state. I suspect if your current employer doesn't support hybrid working  you are in the wrong company and can easily find another employer who is willing to accommodate it... 

Very important perspective Amelia. I discovered at 28 that I had endometriosis and was advised by my gynaecologist to start having children as soon as I could (I was lucky to be in a stable relationship and financially we could afford to do so). I had two children with the second born just prior to my 32nd birthday. At 33, I  was having surgery for stage IV endometriosis which despite pregnancy and breastfeeding was extensive. If I had waited until I "felt ready" the odds were certainly not in my favor... Let me tell you with two teenagers now there are still days where I question whether you are ever ready to be a parent :) All the best for your journey ahead