I always thought I was the kind of person who’d leave if my partner ever cheated on me. I thought I’d pack my bags, jump in the car, drive off and never look back.
But I loved him. That’s why it hurt so much. I was in love and I really and truly believed he loved me too. So why did he cheat on me? Why did he hurt me so badly when we felt so lucky to have even found each other?
And was I willing to walk away from the best relationship I’d ever been in just because of one, meaningless affair?
Yes I yelled, screamed, sobbed and threw things but I still didn’t leave my partner after he confessed to an affair, partly because I loved him and partly because I didn’t want to leave until I fully understood why it had happened.
Affairs affect one of every 2.7 couples, according to counselor Janis Abrahms Spring, author of After the Affair, with approximately 10 percent of those lasting less than a month, 50 percent lasting more than a month but less than a year and 40 percent lasting two years or more. A lesser known fact is that the person having an affair rarely ends up with the person they were cheating with.
So why the hell do so many people cheat?
Mamamia Confessions: Relationship deal-breakers. Article continues after this video.
Top Comments
''Why do people cheat'' Because they feel entitled to. The end. All the untangling and picking over in the world boils down to this; they prefer to lie and deceive and betray the trust of their partner than speak up and possibly lose all the good stuff. Instead they feel entitled to have all that delicious home fires cake and also get their ''needs'' met, and all behind the back of their partner. So the answer, however you slice it is ''because they feel entitled to do as they wish and place their own moment by moment wishes as paramount''. You can decide to cram down that shite sarmie and perform the mental gymnastics required to convince yourself that THIS time he or she would NEVER betray me again (because last time I was vewwy, vewwy cwoss. Like, vewwy.) because THIS time he or she wouldn't lie. This time it's different.
You are 100% right that that's why people cheat. But, that said, I think that there is some truth that sometimes there is a legitimate reason for it. I saw a video on instagram recently called "Sex After Marriage" which was basically just a woman rudely rejecting her partner every night (eg "are you kidding? I am exhausted!") and my immediate thought was how eroding to someone's self confidence and happiness, and to the intimacy of the relationship, that would be overtime. If my husband did that to me every night for a year...who knows! Cheating is never okay, but people also have to be mindful of meeting their partner's needs (within limits of course!), emotionally and physically.