sex

"Dirty talk is actually gross." 7 women on the common turn ons that actually turn them off.

A few weeks ago, I was having drinks with some friends who I hadn't seen in a while. One of them had been on a first date the night before, so of course, as all drinks with a friend who is dating go, the entire night was all about her. 

And rightly so. 

She was talking about how attractive the guys she was on a date with was and described him as having "the nicest eyes". I knew straight away that what she meant by "nice eyes" was that he was good at eye-contact. 

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As predicted, she said that when she talked to him, he would give her his full attention and would stare longingly into her eyes as if they were starring in the live-action remake of Sleeping Beauty. My other friends straight away confirmed that yes that was, in fact, very attractive. 

"I hate eyes," I mumbled under my breath, explaining I find it a complete turn off.

Turns out, I was very much in the minority, with all my friends finding it a super attractive trait.

Surely, I couldn't be the only person who has found out that common turn on in dating is actually a personal turn off, so I asked some women if they also share in this feeling. I'm happy to report that I am in fact not the only "weird" dater out there.  

In fact, there are at least seven others who are just like me, finding the ick in the everyday.

Anna gets turned off when someone... buys her flowers.

"During the pandemic, I tried my hand at gardening. I always used to be in the garden with my dad when I was younger and I thought maybe I had inherited a green thumb from him. I had not. Everything I tried to grow died or just... didn't grow at all. 

"At the same time, I had also started dating a great guy. I learned early on that his love language was gift giving as he was always buying be beautiful bouquets of flowers. 

"However, every time I would get flowers from him, all I could think about was my sad garden. It would make me so upset to see these beautiful, healthy flowers, knowing that they would die in a few days."

Clare gets turned off by... tongue kissing.

"I just want to say that I've been in a loving relationship for the past seven years and now am a big fan of tongue kissing. BUT when I was dating in my early 20s, I used to cringe so hard when men would try to passionately kiss me. 

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"I loved kissing with just lips, but when I could sense that their tongue was about to enter my mouth, I would have to abruptly stop the make-out sesh as it grossed me out so much. 

"I remember one time I attempted to ignore the feeling and ended up making gagging noises while he was kissing me. Big yikes."

Diana gets turned off by... lip biting.

"I HATE IT when people bite their lips as a way of flirting. I think they look absolutely ridiculous.

"I also freak out because I think they're going to bite it too hard and peel the skin off. Biting lips while being kissed is also a big no no for me. Just chill out!"

Monique gets turned off by... tall people.

"I don't know when dating tall men became trendy, but I'm not for it. Tall people don't turn me off, but I definitely prefer short kings. 

"The constant craning of the neck and awkward bend down just to kiss each other looks ridiculous. From experience, it also makes sex much more difficult when your bodies don't line up nicely. 

"I tell my friends that my ideal height for a man is 5ft 6 and they all look at me like I'm crazy."

Listen to Em talk about unpopular opinions in dating on The Undone podcast. Story continues below.


Kayla gets turned off by... perfect teeth.

"I've always been a bit turned off by super straight teeth. I love a crooked smile. I feel like imperfect teeth have so much character and make for gorgeous smiles."

Vanessa gets turned off by... playing hard to get.

"I'm so over the 'playing hard to get' game. It's annoying and such a waste of time. I was shocked when so many of my friends told me they loved it when their boyfriends would play hard to get before they got into a relationship with them. I don't understand the appeal of someone who acts like they don't want to date you?"

Ashley gets turned off by... good breath.

"Okay, hear me out. When I was younger, I was obsessed with mouth wash. I think because of the intense colours they are, I would pretend I was a superhero, and the mouthwash was poison, but when I drank it, I would live. So yes, I was drinking AND SWALLOWING mouth wash regularly. 

"One day I got super sick and never touched mouth wash again. I still brush my teeth and floss, but whenever I smell someone else's minty fresh breath, it immediately turns me off. 

"I just can't stop thinking about how I thought I was going to die. I don't like bad breath, but I feel like I can handle it better than minty breath."

Emma gets turned off by... dirty talk.

"I know some people love it but honestly, dirty talk is so gross. It makes me cringe and totally turns me off."

If you want more of this minty freshness, and follow the author on Instagram via @emilyvernem or you can sign up to her newsletter The Lonely Girls Guide.

Image: Getty + Mamamia.

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