movies

'Give him the Oscar, right now.' 22 thoughts I had while watching Barbie.

It's finally here.

After approximately 300 years of anticipation, the Barbie movie has been released in theatres. And audiences are flocking to see it – dressed in pink, with their pals, and maybe a little tipsy after a few cocktails.

I was a lucky viewer at the Sydney premiere a couple of days before its cinema release, and let me tell you: I have thought of nothing else since. I can't stop talking about it. It is my whole personality.

Listen: Mamamia's entertainment podcast goes DEEP on Barbie. Post continues below audio.

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Thankfully, I have an outlet for this in the form of... well, you're reading it right now. 

Here are all the thoughts — beware, minor spoilers ahead — that were running through my head while enjoying the gloriousness that is Greta Gerwig's Barbie.

1. I'M SO F**KING EXCITED.

I can't remember being so hyped and anticipatory for any other film, ever. And I was a Bratz doll kid!

The team behind Barbie — and not just Margot, Ryan or Greta — have done the most impressive job of getting me, and most of the pop culture world, hyped about the film's very existence, through trailers, press tours, quotes that make it very clear Ryan Gosling was method acting, and lots and lots and lots of pink.

I fell for it all hook, line and sinker and I'M NOT ASHAMED.

2. They need to do Barbie Land set tours.

Image: Warner Bros.

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This is the most magnificent looking set of all time and I want to spend at least a week exploring every corner of it.

LET ME ON THE BARBIE FERRIS WHEEL.

3. Helen Mirren should narrate all things, all the time.

With David Attenborough as the only other acceptable option, obviously.

4. I have never been more attracted to Ryan Gosling.

Image: Warner Bros.

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Not even when he was Noah yelling "I wrote you every day for a year" at Ally in the pouring rain, in that famous The Notebook scene. And not even when Emma Stone rightly said he looked photoshopped in Crazy, Stupid, Love

His crossed fingers when asking Barbie if he can come over that night????? Ken's 'so cool'? His stupid jealousy? I've fallen for the Ken-ergy and I'm not ashamed.

5. Did they hire the entire cast of Sex Education?

Hi, Maeve! Hi, Eric! Hi, Adam! 

I love it, but I do have to wonder whether there was there a buy two, get one free discount. Now, where's Otis?

6. Absolutely nothing would be better than a wardrobe that curates your full outfit every single day.

IT'S A NEED. Image: Architectural Digest.

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I want one. I need one. I think having one of these would fix every single problem in my life. Can someone invent this? Please? 

7. I have no idea what I thought this movie would actually be about BUT IT WASN'T THIS.

There was a lot of concern online about how many trailers and clips were being released, with many people (including me!) concerned that it was giving too much away.

But... no. SO much was kept secret. And thank goodness for that.

8. Issa Rae for President.

Image: Warner Bros.

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Of the world!

9. I need more pink clothes.

I mean, yeah, I am currently dressed in head-to-toe pink in this cinema, but more is more.

10. The only person who would choose a heel over a Birkenstock is a person who has not tried a Birkenstock.

COME INTO THE LIGHT, BARBIE.

11. Allan is the unsung hero of this film.

The movie is so much richer when you know that Allan was a short-lived doll released in the 60s as "Ken's buddy". He was literally marketed as his friend, who could also fit into Ken's clothes.

With that in mind, Allan's scream when Ken runs into the plastic surf is EVERYTHING. One of the best comedic moments in the whole movie. Michael Cera deserves an award for that moment alone.

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12. I would definitely be a weird Barbie.

Image: Warner Bros.

It would mean I'd spend all my time hanging out with Kate McKinnon, so I can't even be mad about it.

13. Speaking of awards, let me formally start Ryan Gosling's Oscar campaign.

Just Ken needs an Academy Award, and I am so serious. Ryan Gosling's commitment to the role is simply unmatched, and if it WAS matched (by, say, an Austin Butler with a permanently altered accent), it simply couldn't be as fun as this.

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Give him the Oscar, right now!

14. This is actually kind of America Ferrera's movie?

Image: Warner Bros.

Gloria has the most important monologue in the whole film and absolutely kills it. Also, I'd buy Thoughts of Impending Death Barbie in a heartbeat.

15. Breaking the fourth wall is RISKY but I LOVE IT.

Margot Robbie IS beautiful! Pretending she's not would be outrageous! Thank you for that extremely validating message, Dame Helen Mirren!

16. They've really addressed every single criticism they needed to.

Greta Gerwig really said 'let me point out every historical problem with this doll before you get a chance to'. Sasha's (Ariana Greenblatt) takedown of Barbie at school was a fantastic summation of... all the things.

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It feels very genuine and has definitely helped with the buy-in. 

17. MEN SHOULD SEE THIS MOVIE.

As a priority!

18. I have no doubt that 'I'm Just Ken' will be in my Spotify Wrapped.

Image: Warner Bros.

A bop is a bop is a bop.

19. WAIT AM I CRYING IN THE BARBIE MOVIE???

I am. And not even over Ken!

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20. I am so painfully Millennial, because why does this white scene with Barbie and Ruth remind me of Harry Potter?

Image: Warner Bros.

Unlike Stereotypical Barbie, I will never escape this prison.

Listen to the latest episode of The Spill. Story continues after the podcast.


21. This is a WEIRD and WACKY film.

In the most joyful and clever way possible.

22. OKAY. WHEN AM I GOING AGAIN?

Booking tickets right now!

Chelsea McLaughlin is Mamamia's Senior Entertainment Writer and co-host of The Spill. For more pop culture takes, recommendations and sarcasm, you can follow her on Instagram.

Feature image: Warner Bros.