'I'm a kindergarten teacher. Here's the difference between sending your child to school at four or five.'

Starting school is a big deal for kids and parents alike. But just because your child can start school, doesn't mean they should. 

Parents with children born in the first half of the year have the most difficult decision as they can officially send them at four-and-a-half, or hold them back for another year until they are closer to turning six. 

For most families, it comes down to the individual child and whether they are ready.

Watch: The horoscopes homeschooling their kids. Post continues below.

Mum Stefanie sent her daughter to school a few weeks before she turned five.

"She has been in early education since she was 12 months old and was more than ready emotionally and socially to begin school," Stefanie told Mamamia. 

"I am a teacher myself and I knew it was risky sending her, but she was so ready for school. She is keeping up with her peers and there are no issues academically. I believe as a parent we know our kids and know when they are ready."

While the decision mostly comes down to the individual child, Ms Smith*, a kindergarten teacher from NSW, says there are some things to look out for as a parent.

"I tell parents who are concerned about school readiness to look out for social maturity," Ms Smith told Mamamia.

"When they're socially less advanced, they'll play alongside someone, whereas once they're that bit more mature, they can play with them," she explained.

"Parents can also watch for a readiness to learn. If they're too young, and not ready to learn, they'll be really anxious and resistant to learning and they won't even want to pick up a pencil or listen to a story. Whereas once they're that bit more mature, they absorb everything because they're excited to learn."

Mum Kim kept her son back until he was almost six years old, mostly for reasons of emotional maturity. 

"We consulted with his daycare teachers. Although they thought he would be ready to start school, they supported our decision," Kim said.

"He is in Year 1 this year and we are so glad we made this decision. He is an only child and struggles with self regulation and it’s only been this year that we have seen a big improvement in his ability to manage this. We are noticing now he is maturing more and able to handle things a little better.

"I don't notice the age difference between him and his friends, although some are the same age and some are almost a year younger. I wouldn’t change the decision we made at all. It was definitely the right decision for him."

Ms Smith says that in her view, the main reason to hold your child back is less to do with academic readiness and more about their emotional health and wellbeing.

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"Consider the difference between a six-month-old baby and a newborn baby. That's not much time but they are so different and kids develop quickly. While the difference between a four-and-a-half-year-old and a six-year-old is not as huge, there are still big leaps that they have to take in that time," she explained.

"I tell parents to look out for overwhelm in their kids. If they are anxious or not ready to make friends or have confidence in the classroom, I recommend holding them back.

"I've taught some very confident and 'ready' four-and-a-half-year-olds but on average, if you have any doubts about their readiness, I would always advise holding them back."

One mum who wishes she held back her child for an extra year is Sasha. 

"We felt pushed to put our eldest into prep as she was born just shy of the cutoff on May 29," Sasha tells Mamamia.

"What we didn’t take in to account was that her cohort had a large percentage of children who had done the extra year of pre-prep, so when she entered prep, there were children turning six. 

"It was very confusing for her and we are likely going to repeat her this year as the age gap is very noticeable developmentally. Her school and teachers have been amazing though, and I shudder to think how bad it could have been if her teacher wasn’t attentive and understanding."

Ms Smith says if you are unsure and need help to work out if your child is ready, talk to early educators or bring them along to the school for the transition or orientation days.

"Teachers will see where they're up to in the classroom setting and amongst their peers and then feed back to you. They might tell you, 'They're not ready', not to be unkind or because they don't want them there, but to advise you that they might benefit from more time at home or daycare to mature. 

"It's not a bad thing, and it is only advice. Parents can still send their child if they want to and I've had plenty of kids that have repeated in the next year if it comes to that."

Mum Katie sent both of her March born daughters to kindergarten when they were age four and 10 months. She decided in consultation with their preschool teachers and used the transition day feedback to help cement her views.

Read more: 'The age your child starts school might change. Let's talk about what that could mean for parents.'

"Although I’m a teacher, early education isn’t my area of expertise," Katie said.

"My daughters' preschool teachers were very confident that they were both ready for school in the year they turned five, which I was also pretty confident about with my oldest, but I genuinely wasn’t sure with my younger daughter. 

"I did cop a bit of criticism and questioning from those around me, but with the oldest ready to start high school next year, and the youngest in Year 3, they are both thriving socially and academically.

"If I had waited as many suggested I should, I suspect they would be incredibly bored at school, and also frustrated with their younger peers. They occasionally lament to me they don’t like being younger than their friends, but when I tell them they would be in the grade below, they seem pretty happy to be where they are."

For any parent still wavering about what age to send their kids to school, high school teacher Ms Phillips* says to consider their age for sitting their final exams too.

"Generally, children are fantastic at school, right until puberty and the pressures of final exams," she tells Mamamia. 

"I cannot emphasise enough the difference in maturity between an 18-year-old being asked to write about the nuances of human experience, including paradoxes or behaviour (which is demanded in every HSC English course currently), and a 16-year-old doing it. Teachers taking HSC courses can pick the less mature responses in creative work too.

"I have supported many students through the HSC and those who do best are older. Even the most mature 16-year-old is not as mature as an average 17 or 18-year-old. The difference is massive."

What age did you send your child to school? How do you feel about it now? Let us know in the comments below.

Laura Jackel is Mamamia's Family Writer. For links to her articles and to see photos of her outfits and kids, follow her on Instagram and  TikTok.

Feature Image: Getty.