Mindfulness can help your kids succeed. Here's how you can teach them to do it.

Have you noticed that mindfulness has become a buzzword, and is increasingly well-known and talked about since the 20th century? 

Well, it's also one of the qualities that can help your child succeed in life.

As anyone with children knows, parenting is a unique yet challenging journey full of ups and downs – and worrying about your child's future and wanting the best for them is a very natural part of the ride. 

As parents, we can provide many different experiences for our children to explore how to be emotionally resilient, and mindfulness is an amazing experience that our children can learn and use to connect to their lives.

Watch: Mindfulness meditation for children. Post continues after video.

But the question is: How do mindful parenting and connection help to create emotional resilience in kids?

Firstly, let's define mindfulness in this context: it means taking the time to notice and be present in every moment – and it can help your child develop emotional resilience, self-awareness, and positive habits. 

Think about entering a dark room – you stand at the doorway feeling for the light switch, which at times can feel like a lifetime. You know the light switch is somewhere near, but you can't find it. Then when you eventually find the light switch and turn up the dimmer, and the light begins to filter into the room, it shines brighter and brighter until it fully reveals the familiar room. But you had to slow down, use your senses and be fully present to find the light switch.

This analogy perfectly depicts the way mindfulness helps us slow down; where we give ourselves space to connect with ourselves, our emotions, thoughts, energy and the experience we are having. 

So how do we teach our children to become mindful and emotionally resilient? Here are six practical and straightforward ways to connect with mindfulness:

1. Model mindfulness in your everyday life.

Our children are watching us all of the time; this happens at an unconscious level. If our children see us doing mindfulness or living mindfully, they know what it is and what to do. Children are like sponges, absorbing what they see and hear around them. If you make mindfulness a part of your daily routine, your child is likelier to do the same. 

Start by taking a few minutes each day to practice mindfulness. You can do this by sitting quietly, focusing on your breath, and noticing your thoughts and feelings without judgment. When your child sees you practising mindfulness, they will often become curious and want to participate with you. 

Children are curious from an early age. The earlier you expose children to mindfulness, the more natural it will become a part of family life.

2. Create a routine of mindfulness.

Just like we teach our children the routine of brushing their teeth, going to bed and packing their bags for school, we can also teach them the routine of mindfulness. Plan the routine with your young person. Consider what the best time is to do a mindfulness routine with them – is it part of the morning and nighttime routines before bed, giving them the opportunity to switch on before the day commences, and then later unwind and switch off after the day? Having a routine also creates a purposeful mindful environment where your young person is comfortable and relaxed, and they can use it daily. They may even like to give it a name like, ‘my mindfulness spot’.

3. Explore mindful emotions.

Emotions are like visitors – they come and go – and a child who is aware of this and learns to be mindful of their emotions will ultimately develop resilience. 

The ultimate experience is being present with your emotions and connecting with them to hear what they say; accepting that the emotion is here and making space for it to occur. 

What does that mean exactly? Making space for the emotion means finding a quiet space and allowing the emotion's presence, understanding and acknowledging that it's okay for the emotion to be here. Let your kids know they can talk to their emotions like they’d talk to a parent or best friend, or to simply sit, feel and listen. When we do this, we get to see, feel and know our emotions more fully.

4. Connect mindfully to your thoughts.

Does your mind race with a gazillion thoughts all day? Can you imagine your child fully connecting to their thoughts and what that would look, sound and feel like? Your child can learn to slow down their thoughts and be deliberate about which thoughts are helpful and which are not. 

A great game they can play to learn this is called catch and change: when a thought comes into the thought stream, they can catch the thought and change it, or say, "Stop, I don't want that thought” and swap it for another more helpful one.

Listen: What Is Aware Parenting & Should I Be Doing It? Post continues after podcast.

5. Be present with your senses.

We all learn through our senses. They are here to signal what is happening in our bodies and the world around us. We must teach our young people to be fully connected to their senses. A process to teach mindfulness in a fun way is to have your young person notice five things they can see, four things they can touch, three things they can hear, two things they can smell, and one thing they can taste.  

6. Practise mindfulness yourself.

Teaching your child to be mindful takes time, practice and patience. It's not a quick fix. But when you consistently demonstrate the importance of mindfulness, it gradually becomes more natural for your child to incorporate these practices into their daily routine. The more mindful and emotionally resilient they become, the better they will be able to handle life's challenges as they move into adulthood.

Qualified psychologist and teacher with more than 20 years of experience working with young adults and children, now founder of The Resilience Tutor, Lynne Kendall, realised the importance of developing a proactive teaching method that engages young people in learning how their energy, emotions and thinking link to every experience they have in life. So when life’s challenges do appear, young people know exactly how to navigate and understand the value of the experience in their lives.

Featured Image: Canva.