It’s every parent’s wish that their children make friends at school or kindy, that they’re not the ones who sit in the corner eating lunch alone.
But what happens when you don’t like the pal your child has chosen?
It’s the situation writer Jo Abi currently finds herself in.
“My daughter Caterina is seven years old and she’s little miss compliant. So she’s one of those girls who is a follower not a leader, and I look at her and go ”how did I have you?’,” she revealed on the latest episode of The Parent Code podcast.
Listen: What do you do when you don’t like your child’s friends? Post continues after audio.
“I mean I was a follower too because I had two older sisters, but she’s the only girl and I’ve got two boys.
“And I always sort of imagined that any daughter of mine was going to know her rights, be strong and stand up for herself but then she started school and it all changed.”
The problem lies with the friendship Caterina has established, which seems to have more drama than an episode of Days of Our Lives.
“My daughter last year had some very strong friendships, so she was told when she could have lunch, who she could play with, where she could stand to wait for people, and then she’d sort of get in trouble from this friend,” Abi recounted.
Top Comments
Firstly, I amnot very comfortable with the idea of discussing these issues about your child without concealing their identity or protecting their privacy (and their friend'sprivacy) in any way.
With that said, 6 and 7 year olds do experiment with friendship boundaries and concepts of friendship and enemyhood in this way. They have not yet developed a full understanding of nuance in feeling and defining relationships. Some of them express this more bluntly, and othersit canbe simple things like announcing 'i hateyou' during a small disagreement. It is no reason to dislike the friend, who is also 7 and a child. The best solution is to help develop your child's relationship skills and resiliance, and reassure her that her friend doesn't really hate her, but she can alsoplay with other kids if they aren't getting along. Very very very few kids could fairly be described as bad or evil, and most kids who come across asbad really need more love and kindness from adults around them.have your daughter's friend over and show her your own kindness while she is your guest.
Wonderful advice and very true. We're in this situation at the moment and it's my 6 year old who is the one the other mother doesn't like. My daughter is sweet and kind but can push the boundaries with her very complying friend. I wish the other mother could read your post.