OPINION: Victim-blaming is still rife in 2023. Just look at the headlines.

Content warning: This story includes descriptions of domestic violence that may be distressing to some readers. 

Her name was Emma Pattison. She was a daughter, sister, mother, wife, friend, teacher and much more than any label could explain.

This month Emma, a head teacher at a prestigious college in England, was found dead at her home on the grounds of the school she worked at, along with her seven-year-old daughter Lettie. 

Police believe they were murdered by George Pattison, who allegedly shot his wife and daughter before taking his own life. Just before her death, Emma had called her sister in distress. By the time a family member arrived to check in on Emma and Lettie, they were dead.

In the weeks following their deaths, the media attention is yet to dissipate. Countless articles dissecting every possible angle, some even speculating the motive of the alleged perpetrator. 

But one publication decided to frame the alleged murder/suicide as owing to Emma's career success. Perhaps she was too ambitious. Too clever. Too "high-achieving" for her husband who was sick of "living in the shadow". 

Victim blaming in full force - no woman invites her own murder.
Emma Pattison, and everyone who loved her, deserves better than this. pic.twitter.com/bcWNk3jjTG

— Fawcett Society (@fawcettsociety) February 13, 2023

It was a headline that has since been met with a wave of criticism from advocates.

In response, author and historian Hallie Rubenhold said: "There must always be something wrong with a woman who has been a victim of a crime. Her flaws and imperfections are to blame. She made someone do this to her. This is what you get for being a bad woman. The narrative never changes. It's centuries old." 

Watch: Women and violence the hidden numbers. Post continues below.

Another UK woman, Nicola Bulley, went missing in late January and her body was found by police this week in the River Wyre in Lancashire.

Her disappearance sparked a mystery after her mobile was found on a bench still connected to a work conference call, and her dog Willow was left behind. Her family, including two daughters, have been left to pick up the pieces. But amidst their grief, they had to release a statement condemning some media publications for their insensitive reporting. 

The Lancashire police were even criticised for sharing personal details about Nicola, which many deemed irrelevant – the suggestion she had issues with alcohol and was menopausal – forming a faint line in the public eye between those factors and her death.

“We haven’t heard about a man, down the pub, with erectile dysfunction, who has pints every day. We don’t see those headlines”.

Activist @jamieklingler condemns the release of private information about Nicola Bulley by Lancashire Police. #KayBurley LT pic.twitter.com/hukiomFtGZ

— Kay Burley (@KayBurley) February 20, 2023

There must always be something wrong with a woman who has been a victim of a crime. Her flaws and imperfections are to blame. She made someone do this to her. This is what you get for being a bad woman. The narrative never changes. It’s centuries old. https://t.co/VltVoTNunO

— Hallie Rubenhold (@HallieRubenhold) February 16, 2023

Her family said in a statement: "This is absolutely appalling – they have to be held accountable. This cannot happen to another family. They again, have taken it upon themselves to run stories about us to sell papers and increase their own profiles."

This type of coverage is not isolated to the UK. Closer to home, there are many cases where this occurs as well – within media and police statements, which unsurprisingly trickles down into public commentary quite quickly.

In December 2019, Renxi Ouyang was murdered. Her body was found inside a newly purchased freezer inside the Pymble Sydney apartment she shared with her husband and their two young children. 

Police confirmed it was a case of domestic violence. 

One publication instead focused on the husband, saying he was a "quietly spoken" man who was "nagged" by his "strong, aggressive" wife. Leading with those descriptors gave them weight and permission of sorts to 'explain' why the husband did what he did. 

The narrative was now: A 'decent' bloke who had suddenly 'snapped'.

Here’s how not to frame a story when a woman’s body is found. pic.twitter.com/GidVvalrYK

— Gina Rushton (@ginarush) November 30, 2019

Few could forget the murder of 24-year-old Michaela Dunn in Sydney's CBD. The killer had booked a sex work appointment at her apartment and brought a butcher's knife with him. Mere moments after Michaela opened the door for him, he stabbed her to death. He then went on a rampage throughout the city centre, before he was detained.

For Michaela and the reporting on what happened to her, much of it focused on her job. 

'What did Michaela do that led to her being a victim?'

Part of one article headline read: 'REVEALED: Double-life of high-end escort to fund her extravagant travels.' Those details didn't deserve dissection and moved the spotlight from the man responsible for her death to her. Who she was. How she earned money. What she did 'wrong'. 

This sentiment places the burden of the crime more and more onto the victim – when there's often a violent man who has everything to answer for. 

As sex worker Madison Missina wrote for Mamamia at the time: "Michaela did not lose her life this week because of sex work. It is time that we as a society stopped responding to serious crimes with a dissection of the victim. The question and the sole investigative focus should be on the perpetrator. It's his life, his attitudes, his choices, and his morality that require dissection."

We have consistently seen it with First Nations women as well.

As Dr. Hannah McGlade wrote for Mamamia: "Stacey Thorne, Lynette Daley, Jody Gore, Tamica Mullaley. These names are silenced. They are not said out loud. Too often we see them [the media] engaging in stereotyping of Aboriginal victims, effectively minimising the violence towards Aboriginal women." 

Overseas, the same dialogue occurs again and again.

We saw it famously in the case of rapist Brock Turner, who was found guilty of sexually assaulting student Chanel Miller. In so much of the press coverage, she was the one scrutinised.

As she recounted on 60 Minutes, the questions levelled at her were brutal.

"What was she doing at a frat party? This isn't really rape. Why was she alone? She's the predator because she's older. Why would you get that drunk? You deserve rape if you drink to excess."

Chanel Miller’s response to online critics who said she was partly to blame for the assault because she had too much to drink. https://t.co/LmFe3pnawu pic.twitter.com/xAlbJj1JtY

— 60 Minutes (@60Minutes) September 23, 2019

Turner was often labelled as "baby-faced", "all American" and a "fall from grace". There were even suggestions that too-harsh-a-prison-sentence would have a "severe impact" on Turner's champion swimming career. 

As journalist Dahlia Grossman-Heinze wrote: "Because Turner was a star swimmer at Stanford, coverage of his trial received the 'once-promising future' treatment. In reporting on sexual assault, media outlets show a pattern of focusing on how the assailant has a bright future and how the current case could ruin his upward trajectory... The framing seems to have worked."

While there appears to be more discourse now around the reporting of abuse, for Emma Pattison we are having this conversation far too late. 

For Emma, her ambition, her intellect, and her success shouldn't be considered as the reason why her husband made the choice to allegedly murder his wife and their seven-year-old daughter as well. There will never be a reason for a crime like that.

For Emma, her death isn't an "unthinkable tragedy". We know that in the UK, at least one woman is killed every week by a current or former partner.

Murdered women like #EmmaPattison deserve dignity in death, not to be victim blamed in the media for being too successful.

Agree? Then help demand @IpsoNews enforce strict rules on reporting fatal domestic abuse by supporting @we_level_up’s campaign👇🏻 https://t.co/vxgYWFlaaz

— David Challen (@David_Challen) February 12, 2023

For Emma's family, they've been left to pick up the pieces. 

This week, they shared a statement, saying Emma "had a warm, welcoming smile and sparkling, blue eyes, full of optimism".

Her daughter Lettie was "adorable and vibrant with a compelling curiosity, a heart-melting smile and an intellect beyond her years". And she was "Emma's pride and joy".

It's these descriptors and these memories that should be championed in reporting – not whether her success 'made' her emasculated husband 'snap'.

The focus should be on who she was. What she stood for. Why she's not just a number. And why she and so many other women and children deserve better. 

As Emma's close friend and colleague said: "Emma's loss reminds us it doesn't matter how successful or accomplished or brilliant you are as a woman. You are only as safe as your male partner allows you to be."

If this has raised any issues for you, or if you just feel like you need to speak to someone, please call 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732) – the national sexual assault, domestic and family violence counselling service. 

Feature Image: Facebook/Twitter/Mamamia.