couples

'I had a suspicion my uncle was cheating on my aunty. Then I looked at his phone.'

What are you supposed to do when you find out one of your loved ones has been unfaithful to their partner?

This is the pickle I have found myself in. A 21-year-old wondering what on earth my next move should be.

The situation goes as follows.

My uncle is someone I deeply adore, who has been a great role model in my life. He has his faults, as do we all, but his often reflect badly on those in his orbit. Case in point, cheating on his long-term partner.

On a catch-up recently, he passed me his phone to show me a photo of his child and told me to scroll to the left. 

I scrolled to the right. Accidentally and absent-mindedly I would like to preface, but scroll right I did. He didn't notice, having to walk away to console said child who had fallen on the pavement two metres away and scraped her knee. And this gave me ample time to look in shock at what was on his screen.

Immediately I felt confusion. Who was this strange, unfamiliar woman staring at me on his phone? Why was she topless? 

Initially, I wondered if she was a well-known porn star who my uncle had come across online – I wouldn't exactly be surprised by that reality. But then I noticed something in the corner of the photo. It was a velvety red chair that looked awfully familiar. It probably looked recognisable because it was the chair I was actually sitting in, inside my uncle's home. 

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And then it hit me. This wasn't just porn or 'online cheating'. This was a legitimate affair. It was close to home. And I didn't know what to do next.

Watch: MM Confessions - what my partner doesn't know. Post continues below.


Video via Mamamia.

After seeing the proof in front of me, I quickly scrolled back to the photo of my uncle's child and madly threw the phone on the couch next to me, as to not arouse suspicion from him when he returned. Looking back, I was doing exactly what I was angry at him for doing – being deceptive. But on my scale at least, cheating on your long-term partner is a bit more of a f**ked up thing to do.

The next few hours were a bit of a blur. Conversations between my uncle and I that were completely surface-level, allowing me to smile, nod and agree with whatever he said about his week at work, while in my mind, I tried to grapple with the fact that I was now privy to his private life. 

When I finally got home, I did what any Gen Z or Millennial does best – some good ol' online sleuthing.

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It's incredible what some middle-aged men (a terrible generalisation I'm sure) forget to think of when they're engaging in an affair. Tip number one: don't follow the other woman on Instagram. Tip number two: don't like said woman's images on Instagram and leave highly suggestive comments underneath the post. And finally, tip number three: remember to let the other woman know not to refer to you as 'her boy toy' in the caption. 

With this all front of mind, I doubt I'm the only one who knows what my uncle is doing. I know for a fact his partner – my aunty – wouldn't know a thing, as Instagram isn't on her radar. 

One of the saddest factors about the whole thing is that the woman my uncle is having an affair with looks to be in a committed relationship too – which involves a couple of kids and a wedding ten years ago.

And this leads me to where I am today. Wondering what the hell to do next.

Unfortunately, the whole situation is not very surprising. 

You see, cheating is like a rite of passage for the men in my family. From my grandfather, father, uncle, and male cousins, I know each of them has prolifically cheated on a partner of theirs. It's how my own parent's marriage broke up, as did my uncle's first marriage. 

It's a pattern that makes me deeply uncomfortable, and honestly quite embarrassed. Because part of me wonders – am I then capable of doing the same to someone I love? Will I ever cheat on a partner, or do I have a higher propensity to do so genetically? They are questions that keep me up at night – as does the dilemma of my uncle's infidelity.

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A week on from finding all the evidence I need, I am toying up what to do next.

One option is to speak directly with my uncle and asked him upfront what is going on – who is that woman on your phone? Why does she call you her 'boy-toy?' And if he is cheating on my aunty, what does he intend to do now that the affair has been uncovered?

The second option is to go directly to my aunty. She's someone I love very much and don't want to hurt. But I also know she deserves the truth. 

The third option is to do nothing. But there are complications that arise with this choice – because although it is technically not my business to comment or involve myself in this situation, would it be morally unjust to be an ostrich and shove my head into the sand. 

I think for me deep down, I already know the answer. It's the option that will likely backfire in my face. The one that will likely break up a marriage. But it's the option that if I was in my aunty's position, I would want most. Because sometimes the nicest thing you can do is tell someone you love that their partner isn't the one for them. 

Feature Image: Getty/Mamamia.

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