I learned an important life lesson at a wedding reception recently. It started innocently enough, with dinner chat about why we all loved living in Sydney. Everyone had an answer: “….There’s so many thing to do”, and, “Totally awesome beaches”, and, ”You get to see Pauline Hanson in her undewear….”
Then Clare, who was sitting at my table asked: “Do you know what I DON’T like about Sydney? This time, I piped up, “The unaffordability? The choking smog? The way you slowly lose your mind, snailing your way to work on any given motorway and getting charged like a wounded bull for the privilege?” She shook her head and continued, “…I don’t like the way people instantly judge you on what you do for a living, how big your house is and what kind of car you have, instead of who you are as a person.” The table instantly fell silent but the conversation immediately halted as someone’s hair caught fire from a candle on the table and so the matter was forgotten.
For some reason, Clare’s statement resonated with me. Are we really conditioned to think that the job we have, the house, the stuff we own, defines WHO we truly are? And is that how we see and judge others and define who THEY are? And if so, WHY do we do that? Is this really a Sydney issue, or something that is pervasive in the modern age around the world?
I was once told that it was incredibly impolite to ask a stranger what they did for a living. Especially many decades ago, during the times of high unemployment and the social perception of a clearly formed class system. Yet, today, “so what do you do?” is one of the first questions people ask when they get to know someone. Is this one of the first markers on how we judge our fellow man, or is it simply a way to make polite conversation because we can’t think of anything else to break the ice?
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Try being from Adelaide! I love my life here yet am instantly judged and even paid out by random interstate strangers. I even had a UK housemate say Adelaide was the asshole of the country yet admitted to have never left Queensland before coming to London. Then we have our local version of the above except the question usually starts with either 'where did you go to school?' or 'where do your kids go to school?' followed by the 'where do you live'. I also get asked A LOT whether my husband and I own our house and when they find out we rent - when are we planning on buying? Like that's anyones business!
Apologies if this has already been pointed out, but isn't it a bit ironic posting such a profound piece railing against our judging what people do for a living, and then ending it with what the author does for a living?