'I don’t want to sit next to someone else’s toddler.' 16 women on the 'rules' of dining out with kids.

A Facebook post by an Italian restaurant in the US went viral this week after they announced they would no longer be allowing kids under 10 years old to dine in at their establishment.

The statement from Nettie’s House of Spaghetti in New Jersey described how they decided to make the decision after deciding little kids were 'extremely challenging' for both staff and customers. 

"Between noise levels, lack of space for highchairs, cleaning up crazy messes, and the liability of kids running around the restaurant, we have decided that it’s time to take control of the situation."

While comments on the original post by Nettie's were mixed, most were supportive of the restaurant's position. 

But we wanted to know what members of the Mamamia community thought about this restaurant's rules and whether they enjoy dining out with their kids, or eating in a restaurant where other people's kids are present. 

This is what 17 of them had to say.

1. "This [restaurant] is totally reasonable. It's just an option for those who'd prefer to have an experience without any kids around. No one is forcing them to go there. I love the idea, I even think most of my friends who are mums would love it for the times they want to go out without their own kids." - Tahlia.

2. "I don't have children myself so I understand this may skew my opinion, but I think it's reasonable! There are kid-style places/restaurants which people without their children wouldn't go to, so the other way around makes sense too." - Laura.

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3. "I think kids have no place in a fancy restaurant, and I have kids. My 10-year-old is fine at a restaurant now. But when I am out without my kids I don't want to hear other people's kids or have them running around me when I am paying $13 for a glass of wine. When mine were young, I didn't take them anywhere that didn't have a place for them to run around. They couldn't sit down for more than 15 minutes, nor should they be expected to." - Lisa.

4. "Honestly I think Nettie's policy is rubbish and quite discriminatory for the parents and kids who want to enjoy their meal out too. If you don't want to dine near kids don't sit near them." - Tina.

5. "Obviously, with older kids now, this doesn't impact me so I think this is a great idea! Not being surrounded by noisy kids while I enjoy a presumably expensive fancy meal.

"I like that the restaurant is setting expectations of what to expect when you dine there and presumably if you have a disruptive 10-year-old then you would be politely and discretely asked to leave. Because let's face it, a baby asleep in a carrier under the table is possibly less disruptive than my kids were at 10!

"The thing is, not all kids are loud, noisy, running around restaurants and not all kids over 10 will arbitrarily sit and behave either. Ten seems like an odd cut-off to me. I guess if I was paying very good money to eat there I wouldn't expect my dinner to be interrupted by kids.

"Also, when my kids were little, we took them to family-friendly places like the local RSL or pub that might have a playground they could play in while waiting for their dinner but we also taught them that when dinner came you sat and ate respectfully. This is how little people learn to be big people and the appropriate behaviours for different settings." - Cathy.

6. "I think restaurants and cafes have the right to do whatever they want. Their place – their rules! I have a nine-month-old and 20-month-old. I personally don't enjoy dining out with them; they're noisy, messy etc. So I avoid it most of the time. I have nothing against other parents that take kids under 10 (or any age) that make noise and mess – it's just not for me!"- Stephanie.

7. "Setting clear expectations like this is good. I like to take my kids out to eat (although much less frequently now with prices going up) but it's only to family-friendly places, ideally with a kid's menu. I don't expect a fine dining restaurant to cater to my family's needs, and I don't expect young kids to be able to maintain the sustained level of manners and quiet that would be required somewhere like that.

"I do think if your kids are spreading a bit of food around, even at a family-friendly restaurant, that the onus is on the parents/adult in charge to clean up the worst of it with the liberal use of some paper napkins – it seems only polite." - Vanessa.

8. "It’s their restaurant. They can do what they want. However, as a Mum to three kids who enjoy dining out, and are always very well-behaved, stay seated, lean over their plates and create the same amount of mess I would create, it’s a loss for the restaurant. We dine out reasonably regularly and we order five main meals, often at approximately $20-$25 each. Plus a drink each. Whatever doesn’t get eaten, we take home for leftovers. I am sure we aren’t the only family with kids who behave while out…. Their loss I say! We can find somewhere else to take our money!" - Peta.

9. "I have no issue with them doing it, it’s their restaurant. And 100 per cent some families would be messy and inconsiderate, so I can see why they’d be frustrated.

"But, as a mum who likes taking my kids out, catching up with other parents and always cleaning up after my kids, I wouldn’t support the business with my money even when I’m having an adults-only meal. There would be loads of people who would – different strokes for different folks." - Rachel.

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10. "When I’m going out for dinner I don’t want to sit near, or next to someone else’s three-year-old who is tired and cranky. My heart breaks for them being dragged out for dinner when they should be tucked up in bed. It’s not a relaxing experience for anyone present." - Kerrianne.

11. "It's the few ignorant parents that ruin it for everyone else. They have clearly had issues with parents and families who don't keep an eye on their children – running around the restaurant and making giant messes. They could put up rules about cleaning up after themselves but this would deter regular adults who go to restaurants to avoid having to do dishes/clean up after themselves. It's easier to put a blanket rule to not allow the rowdy kids because some parents refuse to do anything about it." - Sherry.

12. "I love it [Nettie's rule]. There are plenty of places to take your kids elsewhere if you choose. If I don’t have my kids, I sure don’t want to hear other kids screaming and yelling! People get upset by it, but cafes are entitled to make rules that make their establishment run smoothly and benefit the majority of their clientele." - Bonnie.

13. "I think if you want to ban young kids as a business, it's your prerogative. It definitely makes for a different vibe but as I parent, I am okay with this! 

"Where I live there was a group of restaurants/cafes that made a point of not keeping high chairs to discourage young families from going there. On my part, I was more than happy to take my credit cards to their competitors who did have high chairs. It all depends on who you want your customer to be. I respect that! Now that my kids are older I prefer to branch out a bit." - Ann.

14. "I have two young kids and completely agree with this restaurant! I guess they are stating what a lot of customers are thinking… and needing to have space for other guests to be comfortable isn’t always an option when prams etc are in there too. While they might lose out with families of young kids, they’ll likely pick up more customers who would prefer a quieter dinner." - Emma.

15. "I'm totally fine with it [Nettie's]. Knowing their policy, you can choose to eat there or not. One of my favourite places allows kids till 6pm. I love knowing we can go there till 6pm, if we take our kids, or after 6pm with no kids." - Kirsten.

16. "I have a 16-month-old but I completely support it [Nettie's policy]. I’m a highly inclusive person but I’m ok with this not meeting the inclusivity demands of today." - Jess.

What do you think about Nettie's rule? Tell us in the comments below!

Laura Jackel is Mamamia's Family Writer. For links to her articles and to see photos of her outfits and kids, follow her on Instagram and TikTok.

Feature Image: Canva/Facebook.