'My husband used to be so hot.' The article that has divided the internet.

A former journalist and blogger named Molly Gunn has gone viral this week for writing an article titled 'My Husband Used To Be So Hot' about the realities of being married to her partner Tom for 23 years.

The personal piece describes the challenges of ageing whilst being in a long-term relationship. Gunn writes about missing the people they used to be before three kids and a mortgage; a hot, young, loved-up couple who had time "to spoon each other for hours in bed." 

"We’re nearing the territory when we’ve been together for as long as life before each other," Gunn, 45, wrote on her blog.

"That makes me happy/sad; because as we’ve grown together, we’ve... changed. Sometimes I look at Tom and wish he was the Tom I met: that handsome DJ with curly hair, witticisms, and ripped jeans.

"We’re different people now, to our 23-year-old selves. Sometimes that is hard to grasp. But there’s still love, there’s still music, there’s still laughs. We have a happy family life and we’re kick-ass parents. It’s just that often we have to scrape away the crap to get back to the good stuff."

So far, so relatable to many women in midlife who are also in a long-term partnership raising a family and trying to make ends meet.

So what was it that made thousands of people on the internet VERY upset?

Watch: Superwoman is dead. Post continues below.

Gunn, who has been blogging under the name of 'Selfish Mother' for years, originally wrote and published the post on her blog on Valentine's Day. 

Fans of her work and her 116,000 Instagram followers who look to Gunn for honest 'no filter blogging' on motherhood and midlife read the piece with little fanfare. In fact, the comments on her post about this piece are mostly supportive.

One woman wrote: "27 years in with my partner (I’m 44) and no one talks about the truth of long-term relationships. Thank you." 

Another commented: "Glad for your honesty. We need to hear more about the ongoing effort of long-term relationships."

But it was only when The Times UK published a version of the piece online with the addition of a posed photo of the couple that the article went viral and the trolling of Gunn began.

What seemed to upset most people was not the article or Gunn's words about marriage. Instead, it was the side-by-side photo of the couple and the attention-grabbing headline that turned heads. 

The insinuation by Gunn that her husband Tom 'used to be so hot' is clarified in the article when she writes that actually, he still is.

And while former journalist Gunn would have wanted people to read her piece, I doubt she expected the outpouring of sympathy for her 'poor' husband Tom and the vitriolic hatred directed at her. 

hey molly gunn your husband is way hotter than you

— france, ca (@bigdoglittlecar) March 5, 2023

With her inexcusably cruel article, Molly Gunn has just inadvertently made her husband one of the most desirable men in Britain, huge error.

— Supertanskiii (@supertanskiii) March 4, 2023

The audience that made 'Molly Gunn husband' trend on Twitter mostly attacked Gunn for how she looked; her body, her 'cankles', and her age. 

Gunn's 'audacity' to dare speak her truth about ageing and married life was not welcome by the internet outside of her own supportive community. 

And just like the reaction to Mary Catherine Starr's 'peach test' illustration, internet trolls are never more gleeful than when reducing a woman with a strong opinion to her body shape or perceived 'attractiveness' according to the male gaze.

But the people who tweeted or commented nasty things about Gunn or her 'inexcusably cruel' article, didn't seem to have read or tried to understand Gunn's point of view beyond the article's headline.

And even if they read on, then perhaps they haven't been in her shoes: Married for over 20 years to the same person and still learning what it takes to keep a relationship alive and well after three kids.

Listen to Mamamia's podcast for parents of teens, Help! I Have A Teenager. Post continues below.

After receiving so much body shaming and abuse online, Gunn wrote another article also printed in The Times UK on March 4, 2023. 

She clarified that within her initial article about the complexity of a long-term marriage, she wrote about "still finding Tom hot" but that no one seemed to notice that sentence or the many other nuanced things she wrote.

Instead, the gross and childish insults thrown at her on the internet focused solely on her physical appearance as compared to Tom.

"Those insults were from adults (mainly men) who are old enough to know better but who may be raising the next generation," she wrote for The Times UK.

"Turns out that people still like to fat shame women. Looks based misogyny is very much rife."

Surprised by the online abuse she received on account of her appearance coupled with her honest words about ageing and married life, Gunn wondered in her second article whether she had been living in an Instagram "echo chamber". A haven of female support and empowerment that simply isn't found in the real world.

Regardless, Gunn doesn't believe that staying quiet is an option.

"On Instagram, my marriage article had a swell of support from midlife women in similar marital set-ups who thanked me for my honesty.

"We need to be honest about the realities of our relationships, our bodies, sex and whatever else. 

"Let's not stay quiet for fear of men - and indeed, some women - who want to fat-shame us."

Amen to that.

Laura Jackel is Mamamia's Family Writer. For links to her articles and to see photos of her outfits and kids, follow her on Instagram and TikTok.

Feature Image: Instagram @selfishmother.