wellness

'I radically changed the way I use my phone for a week. Here's how it went.'

My name is Hannah, and I am truly, madly, deeply, addicted to my phone. I’m also a mum to a beautiful, curious, and very observant toddler. 

Unfortunately, my phone and I go back way further than my somewhat new relationship to motherhood. It’s deep, it’s real, and I think it’s becoming a problem. 

Recently, my toddler has taken to grabbing my phone from me, saying "No!" and throwing it on the ground, and if that’s not a wake-up call, I’m not sure what is. 

Watch: There's a way to break your phone addiction. Story continues below.


Video via Mamamia.

My toddler’s attitude is captured in some of the latest research on the subject as well. A recent study, which builds on previous research into mother/child interactions, found that "mothers were less responsive and initiated fewer activities" while using smartphones. Yep, it's a bit scary. 

Now, as a person with a history of being terminally online, you will find no judgement about your digital dalliances from me. Maybe you’re one of those unicorns who has found the right balance and has no desire to change your relationship with your little pocket bestie. If that’s you, please tell me all your secrets, if that’s not you, hi, welcome to digital rehab. 

Come along while I tackle something I wish I could continue to avoid, in an attempt to drastically change my relationship with my phone, and hopefully become a more present parent in the process.

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Now, I solemnly swear to be honest about how this whole thing plays out, and, so that you know I really mean it, I’ll start by divulging the most shameful fact of all. 

My average screen time in the last few weeks has been consistently clocking in at over six hours per day - and that’s just on my phone! This is above the Australian average according to this article in Techguide, and it’s tempting to jump straight into excuses like "part of my job is to be online" but in reality, my excessive phone use is basically down to two things – habit and accessibility. 

To kick off my detox, here are the rules I decided to live by for seven days:

1. Delete social media apps off my phone.

2. Allowed one visit to each social media site per day - only on my laptop.

3. Note down my mood five minutes before socials access, then five minutes after my allotted time.

4. Actively interrupt my impulse to reach for my phone while spending time with my son.

The first day.

This is kind of ridiculous, but the moment I deleted my social media apps from my phone, I felt a wave of relief pass through my entire body. 

All day, I felt like I was operating on some higher plane, feeling more present in everything I did. I noticed multiple impulses to reach for my phone when in transit or when waiting for something, but I would stop and think, 'What for?' then put it back in my pocket with a smug little self-satisfied smile. Is this what they call 'the honeymoon period'?

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The socials.

Of course, most of us don’t have the luxury of going cold turkey on our phone use, and I know I’m in good company here when I say that part of my bottom line depends on being very online. 

I use social media to stay connected to friends and up to date with news. But I also use it to promote my work, and often, to create new connections and opportunities for myself. So, I knew this wouldn’t work if I said sayonara to socials indefinitely. 

I set up this experiment so that it would eliminate the habitual phone scroll we all fall victim to, thanks to the very deliberate design of these deeply addictive apps. They’re created to function at their most optimally on our phones, not our desktops, so that we’re more susceptible to seek constant updates, thanks to instant access. 

Limiting my access to the apps to only my laptop, during one dedicated daily session, immediately purged the mindless-scroll factor. Honestly? I found myself bored with Instagram just five minutes into using it on my desktop. I simply didn’t miss having it on my phone. 

As someone who used to find themselves closing the app, only to be back on it 30 seconds later in a sort of trance, I was absolutely stunned not to be going through some kind of withdrawal here. 

The mental shift.

I have noticed that the recent increase in my phone use has correlated with increased stress levels. But the same could be said in reverse. The more anxious I feel, the more I reach for my phone. And the more I find that little black mirror in my palm, the higher my shoulders climb on their summit to my ears. 

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I can feel it detracting from my quality time with my little boy and this cycle reared its ugly head around day five. I had a particularly anxious day, waiting for either confirmation or rejection from several jobs, and I found myself obsessively checking my email app: honeymoon over. 

But because I did a daily mood check in before and after my daily social media sesh, I was able to see exactly what kind of an affect it was having on my mental health, especially on the days where my stress levels were peaking. 

It also brought a sense of observation and presence to the time I spent on my phone, which allowed me to see how my use tends to operate. I’m sure it will shock no one when I say that after accessing social media, my anxiety levels increased, and my self-esteem was notably lower. 

Of course, I suspected this, but it was validating to see it reflected in the data of my highly scientific experiment.

My conclusion.

Image: Supplied.

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I am practically giddy to report that after my week of living a less "phoney" life, my average screen time was down a whopping 29 per cent, and my stress levels trended in the same direction. 

As a result, I found myself more connected to my emotions, more present in my daily activities, and most importantly, better able to enjoy the little moments with my kid. 

Without the constant interruptions from notifications or habitual Insta-checks, I felt myself fully able to enjoy our daily bin-spotting block walks (my toddler is capital-O Obsessed with garbage bins at the moment) and DUPLO building marathons, and I like to think he noticed the shift as well.

All in all, I give this short-term detox a 10/10, and I think it may just become my new normal.

Hannah Vanderheide is a writer, actor, and voice artist with a beautiful new baby boy. She's also a body-neutral trainer, eating disorder survivor, and wellness industry sceptic who loves to write about the sensible side of health.

Feature Image: Supplied.

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