I’ve been a stepmum now for a long time so I feel your pain. The first 5 years for me were hell on earth and I become depressed. A big part of my problem, and yours I believe, is unrealistic expectations and being too hard on yourself. 

I must say you don't make it sound very appealing. They immature way they act and talk would be a massive turn off for me. 

As a stepmother to two children, my hubby and I mostly did parallel parenting with his ex as our values and parenting approach was just too far apart. It took his ex about a decade to stop trying to control how we parent. The kids got used to different rules and approaches in each house. Only downside is teenagers often choose the loose parent to live with but we had no issues with that. 

More boys are held back than girls as their emotional development is slower. My son is born in June and the end of June is the cut off in QLD. He has always suffered with a lot of separation anxiety so starting him at school when he was 4 just wasn’t an option we considered, he was just too young. 

I find it hard to believe that two adult children would cut their mother out of their life for no good reason, one maybe but not both. 

I don't understand how you have avoided this truth in conversations for your entire relationship? Unless you initially thought you wanted a few kids and agreed with him and then changed your mind along the way but you don't make it sound that way. If your husband ever finds out you have lied to him, he will likely see it as a massive betrayal and it will end your relationship. 

You must tell him the truth and see if you can work out a solution. 

My hubby doesn’t even come close to being a partner in life ie I manage pretty much 100% of our household and kids stuff. That being said, I’m not booking appointments for him or maintaining links to his friends or family, that’s his job and if he doesn’t do it I don’t care. 

@snorks it’s not rare for women to bear the majority of the responsibility, in fact it’s the norm. Even in relationships where I see men doing stuff, they still wait for their partners to tell them what to do. I’m sure it exists but I’ve never seen any man actually take initiative and just do stuff that needs to be done with kids and around the house. 

@melr I agree, her mum said she was embarrassed they split up which is the most selfish statement as it makes it all about her as opposed to the betrayal her daughter felt. I wouldn’t forgive that so easy. 

I’m sure your story will be viewed as a success story, and in some ways I suppose it is given you have worked on it and are still together. However, the whole story made me sick given it was the women making most of the compromises to support her husband’s fragile ego and pride. Still walking on eggshells years later is not how it should be.

The fact that he found a new girlfriend right after asking you to reconcile tells you all you need to know. He hasn’t, and won’t, change. He just doesn’t want to be alone as he likes having a women to care for him. 

Whenever I read articles like this I’m always grateful for my circle of friends who don’t judge and would only be happy for me in such circumstances as retiring at 55 (which I would love to do). 

All teachers should have a full-time teaching assistant as a starting point to reduce workload and provide additional support. 

I have the same hair type, fine but lots of it and very oily. Dry shampoo is the best invention as it means I can go 2-3 days between washes.

@renee056 in what country does babysitting cost $300 for an evening????

I’m a parent and had no kids at our wedding and still fully support that decision. No kids doesn’t mean someone can’t bring a baby, especially if breastfeeding, it just meant no kids of walking age really. 

It’s amazing how little people know how to talk to someone dealing with grief of any kind. 

@amandabee did you consider that what she is doing is putting the kids first? It’s not fair on them to be raised by someone who doesn’t want to raise them, especially after already being rejected by their parents. What they need is a stable come with loving parents who want to parent and that’s clearly not this couple as she does t want to do it and he’s pissed because she won’t help him do it, which means make most of the sacrifices as women always do. 

@eliebno they are her husband’s family and it’s never near ode kids to be raised by someone who doesn’t want them!  

Never heard of her.