real life

When she was 13, Lili's mum told her she was being stalked. Then she went missing.

Content warning: This story deals with domestic violence and murder and may be triggering for some readers.

Thirteen-year-old Lili Greer knew instantly that something was wrong. Her mother, Tina, was supposed to pick her up from a friend's home, but she was late.

"She was the type of person to always text and say, 'Oh, I'm running five minutes late'," Lili, now 23, tells Mamamia. "So when she didn't text, I knew straightaway that something's wrong. But I didn't know it was going to be this bad."

At first Lili thought maybe her mum had been in an accident or perhaps the car had broken down.

But Lili's mum never came to pick her up. The police were called, but days drifted by, and there was no sign of her. Tina had disappeared without a trace.

It has now been more than 10 years since Lili last saw her mother, and she is determined to get some answers.

Tina and Lili Greer. Image: Supplied by Lili Greer.

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In May this year, a coroner declared that 32-year-old Tina died at the hands of her now-deceased boyfriend, Les "Grumpy" Sharman, on or close to January 18, 2012, in Clumber, Queensland.

The on-off relationship between Tina and Sharman was fraught with domestic violence.

Several months before Greer disappeared, police responded to a witness report that Sharman tried to run Tina over with his ute. Three months later, police responded to a report of Tina running down a street, screaming and bleeding. She denied Sharman had beaten her, instead saying she'd had an accident with the lawn mower.

Lili believes her mother lied to the police because she was afraid of Sharman. As a child, she'd witnessed him dragging her along the floor and had seen Tina's numerous bruises and black eyes.

The coroner's findings noted there were 20 lethality risk factors present in their relationship, and court documents show that a friend of Sharman's disposed of a mattress and items belonging to Tina days after she went missing. The coroner's findings also found "shortcomings... identified in the police response to reports of serious domestic violence by Mr Sharman against Tina."

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In the time leading up to her mother's disappearance, Lili reveals that their home was also being stalked. 

"We were going to move because of the stalking and everything - it wasn't really what we had planned, but she had decided we would move or we should move and we'd be safer," Lili says. "So while it was like kind of a new beginning for us, that was also happening in parallel. So the last day I actually saw her, she was quite upset. But we still were excited for our future."

And Lili is pretty sure she knows who the stalker was. "I guess one of the positive things is I can pretty much say whatever now because he is not alive [Sharman died in a car accident in 2018. He was 60 years old]. It was never confirmed if it was him, but it is a 99 per cent likelihood that it was him. No one else had the motivation to do such a thing."

Tina holding a baby Lili. Image: Supplied by Lili Greer.

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While she has the freedom to speak about her mother's murderer, Lili admits his death has been difficult to process.

"I was upset that he died. I didn't want him to die. I obviously wanted him to be in prison. And he also has the answers. But in saying that, I doubt that you can murder somebody and no one else can know. In saying that, I think that someone has to know something," she says.

"And it was pretty evident from the coroner's report that there was someone involved and they weren't prosecuted because they claimed to not know that what they were dumping... but somebody has to know something and just you can't get away with literally murder and not have had any help."

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Lili feels "pretty resentful" towards the investigating officers at that time because she says Sharman was never interviewed. "He died six years after. That's a lot of time to put someone in prison and make a solid case. So it's pretty disappointing on both sides, really."

A Queensland Police Service spokesperson has said the investigation into Tina's disappearance and suspected homicide in 2012 remains open.

"Ms Greer was reported missing on January 21, after she had not been seen since January 18. An investigation began within 24 hours of the report being made, including extensive search operations of areas such as Lake Moogerah, Aratula and Clumber including surrounding bushland and remote sections of national park," the spokesperson said in a statement to Mamamia.

"Extensive investigations under codename Operation Kilo Footwork incorporating investigators from the Ipswich District and the Homicide Investigation Group have been conducted in the years since Tina disappeared. Overt and covert investigations remained underway in 2018, prior to the death of the alleged suspect Les Sharman.

"A number of investigative strategies have been conducted since the death of Mr Sharman in 2018. This includes a search warrant and land search of the property at property in Bonogin in 2020 and associated investigative and media strategies.

"A report was prepared for the coroner in 2021, with findings released in May 2022. While investigators continue to suspect that Mr Sharman was the alleged offender in respect to Ms Greer’s disappearance and suspected homicide, they are still hoping to find anyone else that assisted in the homicide or after the fact, and still hope to find Ms Greer’s remains to give her family answers and bring her home.

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"A $250,000 reward remains on offer for information which leads to the apprehension and conviction of the person or persons responsible for the suspected murder of Ms Greer."

Despite the Queensland Coroner's acceptance that Sharman murdered Tina, the Coroner has refused to hold an inquest, claiming it is "not in the public interest."

This news has hit Lili hard. 

"I wanted an inquest. And I assumed that one would happen. Just being naïve I guess, I just assumed people would look at the facts and see that it wasn't right - what had happened - and it obviously deserves to have an inquest," she says.

"Then following the communication [that there would not be an inquest], I realised the system isn't one that is designed to help. That's how I feel about it, anyway. What I've come to realise is, it is actually about making a case for my mum; I'm literally trying to convince people that she's worthy of an inquest. She's a worthy person is one of the primary things that I'm finding I need to convey, which is ridiculous, because every life is worthy.

"It's crazy that it's come to me, her daughter, 10 years later having to do this. It's such a failed system. I can't even imagine how many other families have to go through similar things, or they just think it's too hard and they don't pursue it. It's just an uphill battle every single step of the way."

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Lili Greer. Image: ABC News.

It may be a hard road to walk, but Lili isn't going anywhere. She has started a petition to show that her mother's murder is indeed in the public interest. It has close to 23,000 signatures - only 2,000 more and the goal of 25,000 will be reached. She has also launched The Tina Greer Project to raise awareness and educate the public on not only her mum's murder, but about domestic violence, missing persons, and homicide in Australia.

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She has also recently met up with the Queensland Government Attorney General, The Hon. Shannon Fentiman, MP.

"Luckily, the Attorney General is also the minister for domestic violence and women. So it was a good audience!" Lili says, with a laugh.

"I'm really thankful. She's actually the only positive interaction I've had in terms of legal, coroner, police... Yeah, she was really receptive. She seemed to agree with everything I was saying. And she wrote a letter to the coroner, expressing that she agreed that there should be an inquest, but it wasn't a direction of an inquest. But more so like, this is our stance."

During the meeting with the Attorney General, Lili also spoke about her experience in trying to bring some awareness to her mother's murder.

"I spoke about the victim-blaming and the systematic problems within the coroner's court, and just about how it's pretty obvious that there's no domestic violence training happening, and there're no counsellors for families," she says.

"I brought to light the broader issues that this case is highlighting for me at least. I have to follow them up to see if they're going to do something; they said they would, but I'll see if that actually happens. It's going in the right direction, I think. But it's always a case of where you can't really hope for anything because it's so unpredictable."

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In a statement to Mamamia, the QLD Attorney General said, "The disappearance and death of Tina Greer was absolutely tragic and I am aware Tina’s family are advocating for an inquest into her death. I have met with her daughter, Lili Greer, to discuss her concerns. I have also written to the State Coroner and advised that I am supportive of an inquest, on the basis that it may help to prevent future instances of domestic and family violence. I understand the Coroner's Court is considering an application to hold an inquest."

Tina Greer. Image: Supplied by Lili Greer.

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Despite feeling drained, Lili also says she is more motivated than ever.

"The good thing is I've had the 10 years to think about all of this, and I'm much older. I'm not 13 anymore. Obviously, I guess it's like a trauma response. But I know the facts and details. I don't really get too deep into my emotions. I trained myself to know the facts of what's happened," she says.

"I need to do this. And it's getting somewhere at least. If nothing happens, then a lot of people know about it, and they know that there's a huge injustice here."

Tina's body has never been found. Lili hopes that the outcome of all this will of course lead to where her mother's final resting place is, so that she can bring her home.

"My mum was a very energetic, fun mum. Because she had me quite young, it meant that we had a really close relationship, in terms of the things we did and the lifestyle we had. She was always able to climb trees with me and jump on the trampoline... We had a really adventurous relationship. I classify it as one that is closer than most parent-child relationships just because I was her primary support person, and vice versa. It was more of a best friend situation. Definitely a relationship like no other," Lili says.

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"I've come to terms with the fact that she isn't alive. But I still think that she deserves to be found obviously, and I would like to know what happened, how it occurred, the details that contributed to her death.

"Domestic violence is so far-reaching. I hope changes will happen, and I just hope that this case is investigated properly. That it's actually given a fair chance to achieve justice because I don't think it has been given one yet."

A $250,000 reward remains on offer for information which leads to the apprehension and conviction of the person or persons responsible for the suspected murder of Tina Greer. Police encourage anyone with new information to come forward and contact police or Crime Stoppers.

If you'd like to sign Lili's petition, click here.

If this post brings up any issues for you, or if you just feel like you need to speak to someone, please call 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732) – the national sexual assault, domestic and family violence counselling service. It doesn’t matter where you live, they will take your call and, if need be, refer you to a service closer to home.

You can also call safe steps 24/7 Family Violence Response Line on 1800 015 188 or visit www.safesteps.org.au for further information.

The Men’s Referral Service is also available on 1300 766 491 or via online chat at www.ntv.org.au.

Feature Image: Supplied.