“Mum, can I change my name? Can I have your surname? I really want to be a Vnuk. Please.”
That was what my son asked me last night. He’s six.
I didn’t take on my husband’s surname when I got married. Never considered it. I’m from a family of feminist women, and none of us changed our surnames when we got married, although we had a pretty strong incentive to.
I mean, who wants to be lumbered with a name like Vnuk all their lives?
Growing up in 1970s white-bread-with-fritz-and-sauce Adelaide, Vnuk was definitely weird. We were the only Vnuks in South Australia, and one of only two Vnuk families in Australia. If anyone ever said to me, “Are you related to…?” the answer was always, “Yes.”
Anyone who grew up with a weird surname knows what it’s like. You come to dread that moment when someone sitting behind a desk asks for your full name.
“Vnuk,” you say. “V-N-U-K.” (Okay, I’ve made it as easy for you as possible. Please just write it down.)
“V-E-N?”
“No, just V-N. V-N-U-K.” (It’s my name. Trust me, I know how to spell it.)
“Oh, that’s an unusual name.”
“Yes, yes, it is.” (I’m actually already aware of this, because I’ve had it all my life.)
Top Comments
What a beautiful compliment that your son wants your name! Do it now, don't wait!
Geez, she should be honoured her son wants to taker her surname! Neill is an average, run of the mill, most common surname in Ireland ever and I get it mispronounced, spelled 10 different ways and it seems no one can spell Kerry either (I've been Carol Meal!) Get over yourself, why make your son wait years because you have a bigoted hangup over a name and he's wise enough not to?
Because he is only 6? At 6, my son wanted us to both change our name to hotwheels!
I am not sure how her article makes her sound bigoted?
You can't be serious. Did you honestly just accuse someone of being bigoted towards themselves? Do you even know what bigoted means? Apparently not. Because it means being intolerant of other views.
And we make our kids wait years for a lot of things in life, because we don't think it's an appropriate decision or responsibility at that age. We make them wait to get a licence. Many parents make their kids wait to get their ears pierced. I think refusing to allow a 6 year old to change his name is a wise choice. He might change his mind in six months.