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'My mum never wanted to be the cool mum. Here's why I'm thankful for that now.'

When I was 16 years old, I had the gall to stroll into the house at 2 am. 

I'd wrapped up a late shift at work and had stayed back to hang out with my fast-food colleagues and help clean up for a big event the next day. 

Afterwards, an older boy I'd made friends with drove me home. I'd texted my mum at 11 pm and told her not to wait up. I ignored all 23 calls from her and pushed away the impending doom I'd felt at the base of my stomach. 

When I shut the front door behind me, my mum was sitting on the stairs in her nightgown, left eye twitching. 

What happened afterwards is something I'm not at liberty to discuss. 

Watch: Be A Good Mum. Post continues after video. 


Video via Mamamia.

My mum has never been the cool mum — and she's never wanted to be.

In fact, she's taken pride in yelling at me in front of my friends (it's still embarrassing to think about), holding my hand while we walked into school together (eugh), confronting teachers when she disagreed with their methods (gah) and picking on me to be better, better, better — always better. 

Her expectations of me have been higher than I've been able to meet and for most of my childhood, I resented her for it.

The parties were never at my house. I was terrified to try alcohol in case she smelt it on my breath. I shied away from taking my friend's cigarettes or marijuana at a gathering. 

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My mother was never really focussed on making sure I got the best grades or anything like that, but she was insistent I pursued my passions. If I wanted to sing, she'd sign me up for free lessons. I loved netball for a while, so she was there at, every practice, running alongside the coach and telling me to lift my knees. 

Even if it embarrassed me, even when I begged her to stop, her priority has always been making sure I get the most out of life. 

She was never worried about being liked by my friends either, or having the best snacks, or chatting with my girlfriends and I about our days. The only thing she wanted us all to know was that her home was safe and there would always be a bed for whoever needed it (but it would be lights out by 10 pm — no questions asked).

However, my mother was never the cool mum and therefore, I was never the cool kid. 

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For my 16th birthday, she made lanyards that kids were required to wear in order to get into my house. I didn't tell her that I threw them in the bin before most of my friends had jokingly gotten one for themselves. She painted the backyard with pink streamers and decorations. She refused to buy $5 pizzas and opted on cooking traditional potatoes and meats no one but my family ate. She didn't hide away upstairs while the teens got up to mischief; she stood with her arms crossed in the corner and watched us like hawks.

Like most uncool mums, mine was very aware she was also the tough mum with strict rules. So when I finally reached 18 years old, I sipped a pina colada with my grandmother instead of clubbing with my friends. I was still terrified to touch drugs or smoke cigarettes.

It's been painful to be the daughter of a woman who scared the living daylights out of me. She wasn't cool — she didn't try to be, and she didn't want to be. She loved with a firm hand and pointed eyes. 

But it's also been enlightening having an uncool mum. 

Yes, there are some parents who would allow drinking and other cheeky activities under their roof because it seemed smarter to have it in their own house than somewhere else — and I don't judge them for it. I appreciate those mums too. 

But I'm frankly lucky my mother was the way she was or else I wouldn't be the person I am today.

Listen to Help! I have a teenager. Post continues after audio. 

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Now I'm in my mid-twenties and my mother lives overseas. I like to think I make wiser decisions because her voice has long prevailed in my head much louder than my own. I care for my friends the same way she cared for me. Maybe I don't give them a curfew like she did, but they always know they have a home wherever mine is. 

I don't watch people like a hawk the way she did to me, but I'll always try to make sure a friend gets home safe because it's the right thing to do and that's how my mother raised me. Even if it's uncool, I care about being the right person to rely on.

Even if it's uncool, I walk away from situations where I know I'll be unsafe (most of the time... I'm still young, after all!!). Even if it's uncool, I'll drag my friends along with me, to make sure they're not unsafe either. 

I will do everything in my power to make sure I'm living a life that I want to live, no matter who thinks its drab or nerdy or, dare I say it, uncool. 

And that's just how my mother would have wanted it.  

I've written about my mother... a lot. Read more stories about her here: 

'I ignored these 10 pieces of advice from my mum growing up, and now I want to apologise.'

'I was a 'mum' for 10 days and now I want to apologise to parents everywhere.'

"I'm calling you out mum." The 10 lies we were all told as children.

"I just babysat for 8 hours, and now I want to apologise to parents everywhere."

Feature Image: Supplied.