Being the wife or girlfriend (WAG) of a famous footballer isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Trust me.
We met in a dark, dingy nightclub. It was back when you could still smoke indoors and I spotted him through a grey cloud. He was surrounded by lots of people behind a velvet rope. My 18-year-old self couldn’t possibly think of anything cooler than a guy with a posse behind a rope. HOT.
We chatted, he got my number and informed me that we’d be going out to dinner the very next evening.
I knew that the mysterious man was a Someone (the rope and the posse gave it away) but it wasn’t until I casually mentioned his name in front of my family the next day, that I realised he was a Pretty Big Deal Someone in the sporting world. The football (as in soccer, not NRL) world, in particular.
My brother, a soccer lover, was very, very impressed.
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My husband was a professional footy player for 10 years. He wasn't no Chris Judd or Billy Slater, although he was well known amongst footy fans, but not so much your general public who didn't really watch the game.
We met before he was drafted so my story is maybe a bit different. I did have to move states and I too was extremely lonely. I don't really fit in here, and have never fitted into the 'footy world', although I met some lovely friends through the footy club. I found the other women to be very friendly and inclusive although it just wasn't really my scene and we already had kids (and no babysitters), whereas none of the others did. I also put my career on hold, but that was more because it was impossible for me to hold the fort at home with the kids and support his career AND have my own career. His career set us up financially so I felt I had to put time and effort into that while he was young enough to do it, compared to my career which I am now beginning now that he's finished footy. I don't think this is a lot different to what a lot of women do though with young kids.
I did struggle with media scrutiny, there were a couple of 'incidents' he was reported as being a part of which were complete fabrications/ wires crossed. He is also a very private person, so would feel really stressed out in public with the kids, worried about what people were thinking about how we parent, how many kids we have etc... He didn't like me telling my closest friends about personal stuff in our lives because he worried people would gossip etc. I also struggled with the female attention. All the little football groupies who would hang around in clubs was appalling. So so rude and pushy and shameless! It was also hard making polite small talk with people at footy functions, I'm a very social person and can usually find a common interest with people, but geez, it was really hard sometimes! There was one time a man actually asked me who I 'belong' to... to which I answered 'myself, but I am x's partner, if thats what you mean'!
He was offered contracts in other states after we had left our hometown, and I simply said no, I couldn't move again. While his career was important to us all, I really didn't feel I could move states and start all over again. While this probably meant he missed out on playing in a premiership and may have ended his career prematurely, I believe me and the kids and having some stability in our lives was equally important, thankfully he agreed.
I can honestly say I have never got a 'taste' of the high life. He is not an international star so never made that sort of money. We live a simple life, we have a large extended family plus many children of our own and so don't have a lot of disposable income. We have been able to pay off our house in a nice area (not a flash area though, just nice average suburbia) and I am able to study now, so we live comfortably, but people are often surprised at our lack of anything fancy. I buy most of our clothes at the op shop or on ebay, and our home is simple but nice :)
I remember those days as really difficult days, but I am also thankful for them. It certainly was an experience but mostly I'm grateful we have a home that is ours, that my husband has seen another world outside of our town where we are from, and I used to love watching him play. At the time, I resented my weekends always being taken up by footy, having to always attend weddings on my own, every event we went to people would just talk footy to him and I was invisible... but seeing him play on such a big stage (a game that I still don't really understand properly) will always be a thrill. Its definitely not what people think its like though!
PS, I agree footy players are way overpaid, but they are still people with feelings, and most of them are not dumb. Its kinda nasty when people suggest they are all stupid.
You could not pay me enough money to date the average footballer. They completely fail my "nuclear bunker" test - people who would bring useful skills for after the war and people you want to spend time with. "What do you do for a living?" Footballer. "But do you have any useful skills?"
At 21 years old in a pub in Scotland a footballer chatted me up. I wasn't really interested, he didn't seem very bright, but what sealed the deal, or lack of deal, was when my friend told me he was a footballer when he went to the loo. I made sure to be nowhere in sight when he came back.
To be honest, if you date some bloke at any age because he is behind a rope, you pretty much deserve the horrible time you are almost definitely going to have.