There is no denying it, I am larger in size.
But don’t call me fat, or obese, they are such ugly words. And I am not ugly. I am beautiful.
On my dating profile, I describe myself as I truly am: confident, vivacious, happy – a young woman who loves her life.
I am totally comfortable in my own skin and for me, numbers like those that I have to fill out on a medical form from time to time don’t matter, they don’t measure my worth or my happiness, they never have.
There is a common association between being overweight and unhealthy, and it’s frustrating because it is so wrong. I am active and fit and my weight doesn’t hold be back in any way.
It is other people who seem more stuck on it than me. They are the ones that have made the many derogatory comments about her weight over the years.
I have heard countless variations of them, from, fat, heffa, whale, elephant to many others, much worse.
And over time I have learnt to let them slide right off my back. It took a lot of work to get to this point of security and confidence in myself but it is great having this power of resilience that I now have.
Despite this resilience, recently I have been challenged by the behaviour of someone who I believe to be a good friend. A good friend who is also ‘slim’.
To my slim friend:
Top Comments
Maybe your friend is ill? If they are that fixated on their body and losing weight, this seems to be a red flag of disordered eating. If you are that confident in yourself and love your own body, it shouldn’t matter what she says when she refers to herself. Or anyone else. She isn’t judging you, she’s judging herself. And I know this because I’m a large girl myself and I lived with someone who was obsessed with weight loss and then not gaining (a size 8). I recognised she was ill, not me. She referred to it as gross but what she meant was on her body. It wasn’t a judgement on my own. Sounds like the same sort of situation. Don’t take it to heart. And yes you are right, fat doesn’t equate to unhealthy.
Have these open letters become synonymous with "I don't have the nerve to say this to the person in question, so I'm just going to rant on social media"...? If you have an issue with how someone is behaving, generally the most effective way to solve the problem is to talk to that person directly.