How is TikTok actually making the platform safer for teens? We asked an expert 7 burning questions.

It starts with the kind of mum many of us aspired to be, hilariously immortalised by Amy Poehler’s character in Mean Girls, who casually says, “I’m not a regular mum, I’m a cool mum”. Then we end up being the type of mum we actually are; overwhelmed with the mental load of decoding the nuances of platforms we never grew up with ourselves. 

I admit I swing wildly from “cool mum” to the mum who says 'no worries!' a lot for someone filled with worries, many times throughout the day, but there are certain areas where the balance needs to be just right. Like when it comes to online safety. Because we need to learn how we can give teens enough freedom to explore the digital world but make sure they’re safe while doing it.

Someone who has the balance right is mum-of-two Yasmin London. After spending 13 years in the New South Wales Police Force, and 11 years within youth online safety, Yasmin has worked closely with the real-life consequences of online safety experienced by young people.

As Executive Director of ySafe, Australia's leading provider of cyber safety education, Yasmin's been working with TikTok to create an easy and helpful Guardian’s Guide resource for parents guiding their teens online wellbeing, including how to set up TikTok's Family Pairing tool – all in an effort to make the platform a safer place for teens.

But how exactly, you ask? I sat down with Yasmin to ask ALL of the questions. 

Watch: Jessica Rowe sits down with Yasmin London from ySafe to chat all things teen online safety. Post continues below.

What’s the best age to start chatting about online safety?

“As early as possible,” Yasmin says. “Don't wait until they’re 13 and they're getting their first TikTok account.” (FYI: 13 is the youngest age a person can create an account.)

Yasmin recommends starting the conversation when your kids are as young as two or three years old, when they’re first picking up your device. “Then, when a teenager is about to get their own device, and join the different platforms, it's important to have a conversation about the responsibility that comes with this.”

She even suggests creating a contract with your teen around usage. To help guide the conversation, Yasmin suggests the ABC model: “That’s managing access, setting boundaries and openly communicating.” Read more about it here.

What’s the best approach to keeping our teens safe online?

Firstly, Yasmin says that, as parents, we need to stop thinking about the digital world being separated from the real world.

“Teenagers don't go, ‘Oh, I'm picking up my phone, therefore, I'm now in the online world.’ They see places like TikTok, for example, as exactly that, a place, not a platform,” explains Yasmin. 

“When we, as parents, change our thinking, we can teach our teenagers the same skills as we would if they were having an issue in their high school. How can we teach them to deescalate that situation? What can we do there? When parents learn about these tools and strategies, and feel empowered, then that changes the dynamic dramatically and how they can positively support their teens.”

So, what are some tools that can help? 

“TikTok has this really great tool, Family Pairing, a really important addition in a parent's toolbox,” Yasmin says.

Setting it up is pretty simple. Head to the settings of your TikTok account and tap on Family Pairing. From there, you’ll be asked if you're a parent or teen. Next a QR code will appear for your teen to scan. After this is done, your accounts will be linked.

Once you’re connected, it then allows you to set wellbeing and screen time limits for your teen. There are four options: 40, 60, 90 and 120 minutes. 

“When a teen hits the limit, the app locks and can only be opened by a passcode which the parent sets,” says Yasmin.

“There are also nudges, where TikTok will ask, ‘Do you want to take a break?’ So there's a couple of wellbeing strategies around that too.” 

What about privacy and safety?

Yasmin says it’s really important your teen puts their correct birth date in when they set up their TikTok account. Here’s why: “Certain safety mechanisms are triggered based on age. So first up, for ages 13 to 15, their account is private by default. They're also not able to send or receive direct messages, which is an important safety parameter.

“Stitch, Duet and video downloads are also switched off for anyone under 16, which means other people aren't able to take the content from their account and splice it into a video of their own,” Yasmin says.

The Family Pairing tool also allows you to turn off the Discover search bar and decide who can comment on your teen’s videos (everyone, friends or no one).

Can we restrict the type of content our teen sees? 

“As part of Family Pairing, you can turn on Restricted Mode. This will help filter out content, comments and hashtags that might be inappropriate for a teenager based on their date of birth,” says Yasmin.

TikTok already has Community Guidelines in place making it clear that gory, gruesome, disturbing, or extremely violent content material is not allowed. Restricted Mode further limits exposure to content that mightn't be suitable for teens, for example, if it contains mature or complex themes intended for older audiences.

What about their For You feed?

How much you can do can depend on your teen’s age, admits Yasmin. “If you have a 16-year-old, they are unlikely to be willing to let you go through their For You Page and adjust things."

This is where open communication with your teens can really pay off: initiate proactive conversations, stay curious and approach without judgement to get the best outcomes.

“It's a really good opportunity to start a conversation, because what will be popping up is what they’re already engaged with,” suggests Yasmin.

From there, you can suggest following different TikTok accounts for other perspectives and filter out certain content by long-pressing on a video and selecting “Not interested”. 

Any last words of wisdom?

“We find parents usually fall into two camps, the ones who catastrophize and the ones who think that nothing bad will happen. It's important to come to the middle and be balanced in your approach,” Yasmin says. 

Got that, aspiring cool mums?

“The next 5 to 10 years [in the digital space] is going to blow our minds, and so, as parents, we can't sit back anymore. We've got to lean in and build skills to make sure that our teens have a really positive digital future.”

To get started, ySafe recommend the TikTok Guardian’s Guide and Family Pairing tool to help your teens manage the safety of their TikTok account.

Feature Image: TikTok/@robertirwin/@matildas/@flexmami/@khanhong