Harry Styles is going bald. LOL.
Justin Timberlake dad-dances now. Cringe.
It's how the Internet's been talking about two of the biggest names in music this past week.
It's kind of mean. All Harry Styles did, after all, was shave his head. And in a story as old as time, this bold haircut revealed more about him than the world was ready to know. The man is human. And he has a widow's peak.
JT meanwhile, had it worse. He danced in public. Which, as anyone over the age of 40 knows, is a sin punishable by intense public ridicule and a little light horsewhipping.
Of course, the Internet was primed for it, when Timberlake committed the grave sin of not being as young as he was. He was performing, last June, at a concert in Washington DC, warming up for a comeback slated for next year. New music. New videos. A new lil' boogie.
But he wasn't ready. And an unflattering video - shot from a low angle no self-respecting Housewife Franchisee would ever have permitted - has gone viral. He's in khaki. Things are baggy. The moves not quite as sharp as the old days. Who among us is?
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But the Internet was particularly ready to raze Timberlake because of Britney's memoir. In it Spears is clear about how, when their relationship ended under a haze of squashed dreams and mutual infidelity in 2002, he profited from the narrative that he was a heartbroken SNAG (Sensitive New Age Guy, Google it) and she was the scarlet woman. Not so, Britney writes in The Woman In Me. She wanted a baby. He wanted her to have an abortion. He was cheating on her plenty. She had a misguided one-night stand. He ghosted her. She was never the same.
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