There's nothing better than seeing women come together to bond over a shared experience. The shared experience in question? Being lied to by a man.
Comedy and meme Instagram account @drunkbetch posted a slightly heated question to their page: "Ladies what's the wildest lie a man ever told you??"
What resulted was thousands of comments from mostly women sharing the most unhinged lies they were exposed to.
Some of the lies that made us do a double-take include... "That he had cervical cancer...", "The fake eyelashes under the bed came inside from the wind..." and my personal favourite, "You got chlamydia from the gym, it's been going around."
We decided to keep this fun game going by asking our audience to tell us the wildest lie a man had ever told them. The answers were equally chaotic. Grab your popcorn and strap in.
Watch: Lies every mum has told. Post continues below.
"He was at the World Trade Centre on 9/11 and escaped. Complete fabrication!"
"My ex-husband was working away and came home with [genital] crabs. Yes, crabs. He told me he caught them from a co-worker's dog that had been hanging around the office! I calmly explained that genital crabs require human-to-human contact. He then adjusted his story to say he thought he may have used a towel that his co-worker had used to dry said dog. I said, 'You do realise that’s not human-to-human contact?' He claimed he was an exception to the rule, hence the reason he’s an ex."
"I dated a guy for months. We would see each other a few times a week and had a great time. He told me he was going to Melbourne for work for a few weeks. A few weeks later, I saw his picture in the Sunday papers on the Wedding Of The Week page. He didn't go away for work, he was on his honeymoon."
"He couldn’t make the date because he forgot he promised his housemate to study for the Australian citizenship test... His housemate was born in Sydney."
"That he owned a Porsche, but it was at a friend's place. He made his mate drive us by to look at it in the 'friend's' driveway. The wildest part was that he thought anyone would believe that."
"That he was born in Ireland and he was an Irish pop star. He even spoke with an Irish accent for two weeks. He was actually a con man from Lismore who had never had a job..."
"Told me his nan was sick in a nursing home and had to visit her every Friday afternoon, I believed this for three months before I found out that he was really smoking weed with his ex-girlfriend (and who knows what else went on between them) every Friday... In reality, one of his grandmothers had passed away years before and the other lived two states away. The audacity."
"He told me I found a girl's bracelet on our bedside table because he was showing a female friend our bedroom and she must have decided to take off her bracelet in there."
"My parents had been divorced for about 12 months when dad told me he’d met a new partner and she had a young baby when they first met. Turns out that the young baby was his biological child and was conceived via IVF while he was still married to my mother three years earlier. He insists to this day that he adopted the child and it’s just a massive coincidence the child looks just like him. Unsurprisingly, he’s refusing to do a DNA test."
"I met a guy on Tinder and we fell in love. He had a young child and said that his wife passed away. After a year I found out that he had another baby, with his not-dead wife..."
"My husband (now ex) told me he thought he was an alcoholic, and that's why he was staying out late and not calling to say where he was. He agreed to look at counselling and AA only if I would stand by him. Turns out, he had a girlfriend at work and was out with her! He only told me the truth on Christmas Day when I caught him on the phone with her."
"Many years ago, After finding women’s underwear in our bed after I’d come home from a trip away, my partner told me he’d allowed a friend to use our apartment to host a 'date', so the underwear must’ve come from that. He’s now married to the 'owner' of those sassy knickers and I left his a** days after that wee lie!"
"That the condoms that my two-year-old nephew pulled out of his briefcase were old and that he used to use them to wank with. When I pointed out that they were a brand new batch and it was a new briefcase, he decided instead that some blokes from work put them there as a joke. Then, weeks later when I found condoms on the store receipt when putting groceries he'd bought away... He said, 'What? I didn't buy those! I'm going to get my money back.' We're not married anymore."
If you haven't got your "lying men" fill yet, we also have some shorter, yet excellent contenders... Enjoy!
"My friend's ex said the reason he cheated on her was because he was iron deficient."
"His name... I found out on the fifth date."
"While we were dating, he told me, 'My friends made that Tinder profile for me.'"
"Reason for not texting back/ghosting for TWO weeks — ‘I’ve had tonsillitis.’ I wrote back, ’In your fingers?'"
"An ex told me we had to break up because I was not from ‘money’ like him … A very lucky escape for me."
"I had a fling with a guy in Cuba and we hung out with his sister all the time.... Turns out she was actually his girlfriend."
"He forgot who I was after dating for six months."
What's the wildest lie a man has ever told you? Tell us in the comments section below.
If you want more culture content by Emily Vernem, you can follow her on Instagram @emilyvernem.
Feature image: Canva.
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