sex

"Let go of the guilt." Making the case for masturbating on your lunchbreak.

There's an episode of Friends where the gang is arguing about who has it best: men or women? 

The conversation covers certain talents and abilities that separate the sexes before Ross abruptly yells... "multiple orgasms!" and silences the room.

And therein lies the power of the big O. A phenomenal skill and life perk that exists in our own bodies to whip out whenever we please.

In 2022, the concept of orgasms, sensuality, sexuality and self-pleasure isn't niche anymore – in fact it's more mainstream than ever – but viewing orgasms as therapeutic is still seen as a fringe opinion.

Watch: Mamamia's sex survey asked Australian women intimate details about their sex lives and this is what they had to say. Story continues after video.


Video via Mamamia.

I have some of the most open, in-touch (pun intended) girlfriends and colleagues and I can casually mention to them how much better I feel after a good orgasm... or three. Which is exactly how this article came about. One afternoon, when asked how my day was going, I mentioned how much better I was feeling after a sunrise swim, workout and spontaneous midday masturbation.

It got me thinking about the many benefits you feel post a good orgasm and how sometimes, it's all you need.

The analogy I use is a good 'crack of the clit'. We go to the chiropractor when we're out of alignment to help us release nervous tension, twists and knots and be 'cracked back in'... so it's no surprise that an orgasm is also a physical release and reset.

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Having an orgasm is as much about pleasure as it is about therapy... yep, there's a reason you glow after a good session. Think about it, after the big O you feel more relaxed, recharged, and deliciously blissed out.

As a holistic health coach, I believe this is the best therapy that you can get for free, and here's why.

1. Science says so.

Orgasms are known to positively contribute to everything from pain relief, immunity, sleep and blood flow in the brain (and clitoris) giving you a glowing and more "youthful" appearance. If your girlfriends are glowing, it might not just be their facials.

2. Sometimes yoga just doesn't cut it.

I have a lot of consistent practices or non-negotiables I indulge in to keep me centred, grounded and self-connected, such as yoga, ocean swims, coastal walks, sunshine, a good podcast and silent time. But if my adrenals and anxiety are on high alert, I have a busy workday and my mind's in overdrive or I'm feeling disconnected from my feminine energy, the one thing that gets me out of my head and back into my body is an orgasm. Just like magic I shake off that frantic, tense energy and embrace the goddess again.

3. It doesn't always have to be about pleasure.

I have a high libido and I'm not afraid to talk about it. More often than not, addressing my clitoris is about honouring my libido's needs. But there's also times when I feel emotional, reflective, or I'm experiencing a bit of a merry-go-round in my head and I need a good cry. 

Cue the clit. 

We hold tension there too, you know, and if there's a decent build up, you're likely to experience one of those next level, 11/10 orgasms that lingers for a good five to 10 seconds and kick starts the tears. You know the ones – lie back and enjoy the ride.

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Listen to Sealed Section where Chantelle answers EVERYTHING you want to know about self-pleasure. Story continues after podcast.


4. It's a beautiful (and important) form of self-care.

It amazes me how many women aren't making the time or allowing themselves the space to embrace this natural form of self-care. I understand it's your last priority sometimes, given we modern women spend most of our days doing everything to override our libidos. Work, kids, chores, errands, family, social demands – all those things take you away from feeling relaxed, re-connected and reset.

Give yourself permission to make it all about you, whether it's for a quick 10 minutes or a long luscious, lingering hour. Just make a point to fit it into your schedule, no matter how it looks.

5. Let go of the guilt.

Everyone masturbates... and if they say they don't, they're lying. Let go of the guilt and shame around it and you'll find that it can be a sacred act of self-love that's just as important as any of your other health care routines.

I can't recommend this highly enough, the benefits to your body, mind and soul are huge, plus you'll feel more confident, more energetic and you’ll sleep better. It’s a serious win all round.

Now if that's not an advertisement for some lunch time self-love, I don't know what is.

Carla Thomas is a Holistic Health Coach and co-host of The C-Word Podcast.

Feature Image: Warner Bros. Television/Mamamia.

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