Millie Ford knew what she wanted as a career. When she got it, she wasn't happy.

Millie Ford is what most would describe as an overnight success. A TikTok sensation whose fame exploded after going viral with her POV videos, covering everything from impersonating your mum to your high school teacher. 

Except, that's not what happened. 

While Ford has amassed a TikTok following of more than 1.5 million and more than 255,000 Instagram followers, her career as a content creator wasn't an accident. And it didn't happen overnight like some assume.

"I literally have always wanted to create," she says this week on Mamamia's But Are You Happy podcast. 

"I grew up watching YouTubers, I was obsessed with YouTubers. I've always loved video editing. I made videos when I was a kid. I did my own rip-off of My Strange Addiction - all privated now by the way," she laughs.

"I always was chasing a creative role, and there definitely was a part of me, that when you see the glamorous side of a YouTuber or an influencer, you see that and you're like 'Oh my God, that is the dream. The lives that they live, they've got it so lucky, like that is my ultimate goal'."

Watch from Mamamia's Beauty Editor: 'I tried the lube makeup trick. And the results kinda surprised me.' Post continues below.

Ford set her sights on becoming a YouTube star, carefully curating videos for an undefined audience. Over the years, Ford created four separate YouTube channels, but she couldn't break through the ever-increasing noise. 

"I started YouTube channels but none of them were successful. I probably got about 100 or 200 subscribers on my most successful YouTube channel, and then I started doing Facebook videos with my best friend and I think that got 1000 likes on that page. 

"So it's always been this consistent theme. I was like, 'I really want to do this'."

She tried makeup tutorials and fashion videos, but she couldn't gain traction. Ford even attempted a career as a content creator many times, over several years. But it wasn't until she was filming a silly video, in her bedroom, that things turned a corner. 

"Finally something clicked with TikTok when I wasn't even trying. It's so strange to think I put all this effort into trying to be someone else, when it finally worked I was literally in my bedroom with no makeup on being stupid. 

"And these are the kinds of videos that you wouldn't want people to see, that you send to your friends. You're not thinking I'm going to post it on the internet and people are going to love it."

At the end of 2020, Ford set herself a goal. It was her final attempt at success. Her target was to hit one thousand YouTube subscribers. 

COVID happened. Then TikTok happened. And everything changed.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Millie Ford (@milligram96)

"By the end of 2021, I had over a million followers on TikTok. I'm so glad TikTok did create a space where it's okay to be messy and disorganised, and 'Lo-Fi' as I like to call it. I honestly can't be bothered to do a full face of makeup every time I film, and that was the expectation on YouTube and Instagram."

So while Ford's success didn't happen overnight, fame did. 

And as her videos continued to go viral, her life totally changed. 

"Honestly, I would say (life is) unbelievable right now. If you had told me literally that's what you'd be doing in five years' time, I'd be like 'What?' It's chaos in the best way possible. I still can't believe that I get to do all that stuff."

Ford’s dreams had come true. She was living a life beyond anything she'd conjured up in her mind. She was attending events with people she's admired for years, constantly receiving gifts and products from PR agencies, and making a heap of money from doing something she loved. 

But after putting the life of a content creator on a pedestal for all those years, did it actually make her happy? 

"I did put it on a pedestal. I struggle with the event side of stuff. It used to be like an anxiety thing. Going and meeting people for the first time, like people I have followed for years," she explains.

"Honestly, the novelty does wear off a little bit. I don't know how that's going to sit with a lot of people, but the idea of an event is so exciting and fun... you've got to get ready, you've got to get there go to the event, it could be three to four hours lunch, you're chatting, you go home and you're like it's 4pm and you're like, 'What did I do today? I didn't get anything done'."

It had become socially draining. And she was starting to feel resentful.

"I started to feel really stressed because I felt like I'm just going to all these lunches, and I'm chatting to lovely people, and getting to eat beautiful food and have cocktails and I just was like, this is actually not moving the needle on my career because I want to do acting."

Then there was the money. Lots of it. 

"When you realise that you don't need to check your bank account, that's a moment. That has been one of the hardest things to cope with is not getting carried away in the money side of things," she tells Clare Stephens.

Ford says there's definitely a relationship between money and happiness, but it's not black and white. 

"Those little luxuries of being like 'I can buy a coffee today, I know it will make me happy', and not thinking twice about it - that is such a luxury. It's not a cure for happiness at all. Yes, you can buy things you want, and set up processes that allow you to do other things that you like, I completely acknowledge that."

But it's a complex situation.

One such example is the fear of staying relevant, especially when you're whole persona is based on being relatable, and suddenly, your life isn't so 'normal' anymore.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Mamamia (@mamamiaaus)

"I think it's probably one of the biggest concerns. Basing your whole social media identity on being relatable and funny and the girl-next-door can actually end up being your downfall," she says.

"I find it really hard sharing packages that I get sent. Constantly trying to seem like you're just living a normal life. At the end of it all, I know that I'm not doing it to show off. If people want to judge me on that, like, I can't change that."

It's a lot to process, and early this year, the pressure took a toll, culminating in a mental health dip that prompted Ford to seek professional help. 

"I've had a lot of mental health struggles in this new world. I was in a situation where I was getting so much anxiety because I didn't know how to handle myself in public, I didn't know how to run a business."

Ford has now been diagnosed with OCD and ADHD. But rather than send her spiralling, the diagnoses was exactly what Ford needed. She found it incredibly validating, and it led to her getting the help and medication she needed.

"That has taken my anxiety away. The ADHD stuff is a focus thing. And that has been a game changer for me as well. At the end of June I remember thinking, 'This year's a write-off'. And then everything turned around and I signed to an acting agency... and I was just feeling so much better about myself."

She also scored her first big acting gig. She can't reveal the details just yet though. 

"I can't say what it is, and I hate that. This is a career milestone dream come true."

So, is Millie Ford Happy?

"Now at this moment, yes, I am happy. I am happy right now and I have experienced seasons of unhappiness and I know there are still those seasons to come. So I am always so grateful when I am in a period of happiness, because you have to experience the lows to experience the highs."

You can listen to the full conversation on Mamamia's But Are You Happy podcast now. 

Feature Image: Instagram/milligram96.