I want to love turning 50. I turn 49 in less than 20 days and it's completely messing with my head. This feels like it's going to be a very difficult year of continually realizing my youthful days are behind me. Only more wrinkles and aging from here. This has been so completely depressing. To feel like you just don't matter anymore, you don't feel pretty anymore. You aren't turning heads like you used to. These posts did help though. I've been stuck in depression for a few days and dealing with massive peri hormonal mood swings.