I posted this on my Facebook page on January 17...

Last night I found an old VCR tape. There was no label on it so I loaded it into my son's VCR player and pressed play. It was some footage from early 1998. I had been teaching for 4 years and had achieved a lot in those years, both professionally and personally. Professionally I had made great inroads at my school in regards to the subject I taught and I was lucky enough to have been awarded a Victorian state Teacher of the Year Award for my learning area in 1997. The video was recorded as part of a presentation I was asked to give at our annual conference. It featured Year 9 and 10 students taking part in various activities (aka revision games) before their end of topic assessment.
Last night I watched myself all those years ago - before the data revolution, before smart phones were wide spread, before our electronic attendance, reporting and recording processes and before seven changes of curriculum. I was a different teacher. I didn't have to worry about students being distracted by their phones. I didn't have to worry about whether what I said was being recorded or parents were being called to come and rescue their children from the smallest incident. I didn't have to worry about recording every movement students made. I didn't have to worry about being told to "Fuck off!" by a student. I didn't have to console students who have been called various horrendous names via social media. I didn't have to worry about being observed by my colleagues to make sure I was following all of the latest and greatest initiatives, some of which seem very familiar to the whizz bang ideas of not so long ago. I didn't have to worry about spending hours filling in forms with the buzz words to make sure I still have what it takes to be a teacher.
I just want to teach.
I just want to plan for my classes, get to know the kids, work out how they learn and plan with them how they are going to move forward in their learning. I want to have time to correct their work, show them how to improve and celebrate their achievements. I want to share their dreams, chat about their weekends and find out how their family are.
I have struggled with this calling of mine to be a teacher for a few years now. I am pissed off with the inequality of funding between government and private schools. I have watched as it becomes harder and harder for for students with additional needs to receive the funding and support they need to reach their full potential.
Why am I staying... it is for the students. It is for the kids who work so hard and strive for great results. It is for my colleagues, those who stay in the system. It is also for my own kids. I need to work for my kids as they themselves go through school. To be able to pay the almost $800 in fees for my daughter to start her secondary schooling at a public school next year. To be able to pay the $1250 needed for her BYOD for school.
How long will I stay... I don't know.
This system has changed a lot in the 24 years I have been teaching, as listed above. Thanks to the AEU it has changed in good ways, including the one day per term we are able to spend a day working to relieve the pressures of teaching.
So, where to from here? I don't know. But I know I have spent two days of this long weekend correcting work, entering data and letting parents know via our communication system that tasks are (very) overdue. And I know that tomorrow I will get out of bed, tell myself I can do it and go to work.