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When Kara ended her first long-term relationship, she felt broken.
She was just 28 years old when she left Lee, having met him as a single mother of one six years earlier. They had three more children together.
"He worked away a lot in the construction industry, didn't really help with the house or the kids," says Kara.
Lee also cheated on her.
"In hindsight, he was too busy with his girlfriend to really have any time for us.
"He chipped away at my self confidence in subtle ways. If I had an idea of something I wanted to do, he'd make a joke of it. I wanted to go to TAFE, and he made it seem like he was concerned for me — mentioning how hard it would be to juggle that with the kids and the house."
Lee made her feel like she wasn’t smart enough to pass, or manage a big project on her own.
"At one point, I was tossing around the idea of starting my own business. Again, he laughed at me and told me 'You're unemployed. You can't even get a normal job and you think you're going to run a business?!'."
Lee was the money earner, so he controlled what Kara could spend.
"If I showed him a dress I wanted to buy, he'd scoff at me and tell me it was a waste of money because it wouldn't 'suit me' anyway."
After discovering his double life, Kara finally had the courage to leave him. When she told him, he was "angry and hurt", lashing out in the cruellest way.
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