real life

'I didn't invite my toxic father to my wedding. I have no regrets.'

There are so many ways to celebrate your life without a parent who chose through their behaviour to not be in it.

I am blessed that they vanished as they are the opposite of what I aspire to be.

I got married a few months ago and only wanted one person to walk me down the aisle. It was not my biological father – or as I like to call him, Voldemort.

Watch: Do you wonder about the toxic people in your life? What if it's your parent? Story continues after video.


Video via Psych2Go.

He was not invited, and he didn't know anything about it. There was not one moment or second that I spent thinking, "Maybe I should invite him?"

My brother held onto my arm tightly and I asked him to not let me fall. I honestly could not have imagined a more endearing moment. My real protector was there for one last aisle-walking-hurrah.

Voldy is so toxic. He 100 per cent would have made the day about him and would have started arguments. 

Whenever I am faced with challenges or difficult people in life, I remind myself that whatever this obstacle is, it cannot even compare to the turmoil I went through as a child. I know that whatever anguish someone is feeling, or taking out on me, it will never compare to the hurt I have experienced in the past.

This doesn't mean I hurt less; it often means the latter. I am a sensitive being, but also it keeps me on track to not accept anything other than fantastic qualities in people.

I do not want 'yes' people around me, rather, people who tell the truth for the benefit of our conjoined livelihood.

I have very high standards for people. It’s a way to guard myself against being overexposed to bad situations. This is the reminder that if you feel you are in a rut, it's probably because you are. There are people in your life who are willing to help. Sometimes they can listen or sometimes they can remind you of what an actual good time is.

ADVERTISEMENT

If something does not cater to your happiness or well-being, it needs to go. It's as simple as that. You are worthy and capable to work toward the change. 

Life is what you make of it. You need to value yourself above anything else.

I never wanted to spend my life being controlled by societal norms that say I should have two parents, just because they both exist.

There's this bullsh*t narrative that dictates forgiveness above all else. 

People with no boundaries will always want to know the information to judge but not believe in the deeper meaning behind it.

Life is not always black and white; everyone has different experiences that impact their opinions. If life was so simple, none of us would have issues and nothing would be a challenge.

I understand that now, it's not up to me to educate or change people's opinions, it's up to me to take care of myself. This does not mean I don't care about other people; it just means that I aspire to raise myself higher. My thoughts, my feelings and actions are only what I can account for.

I will not be out here defending anyone else's sh*tty behaviour.

When I was younger, my grandmother would ask me, "How is your father?". Every time I would reply to her, "I haven’t seen him" and she would shake her head in utter disgust. I know it's because she wanted the best for us. But he just wasn't it, and I know she knew that deep down as well. Love can always be found in other avenues.

This Father's Day will be spent celebrating my niece's birthday and her amazing father, my beautiful brother.

Feature Image: Supplied.

Have you got a health goal? Take our survey now to go in the running to win a $50 gift voucher.