'I'm done with the pressure to 'bounce back' my body after the festive season.'

I pull a denim dress out of my wardrobe, planning on wearing it out to dinner. It’s a go-to, but with the hot, humid weather I haven’t worn it since late spring. Where once it fit like a dream, the buttons now strain at the bust and the hips.

I’ve put on a little weight over December because the bubbles were flowing and the plates were stacked high with delicious ham and creamy potatoes.

I love the December "anything goes" month. That week that runs between Christmas and New Years. All the parties and events. Mimosas on a Wednesday? Why the hell not? Pudding for breakfast? Yes, please. Lying on the couch picking bits of turkey out of a takeaway container at 11pm? We love to see it.

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My exercise routine goes out the window. The most movement I do is rolling into the pool. I sleep in; I stay up late.

But then the new year begins and suddenly whatever I’ve put into my body combined with the movement levels of a sea cucumber has made its mark. The muscles are not so toned. The tummy is a little softer. Hips a little wider, face a little fuller. And that go-to dress a little tighter.

I have been aiming for body neutrality – seeing my body as a vessel, not something that dictates my value or attractiveness – for years now. I’m not there. Not even CLOSE. While we have seemingly moved away from the concept of a "perfect" body, there is still this little voice in my head telling me I need to be fitter, slimmer, have a better butt, have Gwyneth Paltrow biceps.

Yes, we no longer exclusively embrace thinness. This has a lot to do with the rise of body representation in fashion campaigns and a marketing boom based around celebrating our differences and loving the parts of ourselves we were told to hate just a handful of years ago. 

As someone who is, mostly, a size 12, I can’t speak to whether those with bigger bodies feel genuinely included in both fashion and marketing from brands. But I personally feel less pressure to battle against the natural shape of my body so it conforms to a size it has never, and will never be.

That’s a great step forward! I’m happy to have made it this far! But I’ve got a long way to go and every January, I realise it the most.

When Selena Gomez walked the Golden Globes red carpet last week, social media was quick to point out that her body had changed. Selena ended up addressing the wave of commentary about her body, taking to Instagram to say she was "a little bit big right now" because she "enjoyed [herself] over the holidays".

Like me, Selena took a break from whatever her regular eating and exercising habits are for most of the year, and just indulged. Like me, it naturally had an effect on her body.

I wonder if, like me, Selena is feeling guilty, shameful, and anxious to bring her body speedily back to its pre-December shape.

But here’s the kicker with the festive season. Women are expected to indulge. No, we’re judged if we don’t indulge. If we were to sit at the Christmas table eating celery sticks while everyone else eats Christmas lunch, or if we were to get up early on Boxing Day to smash out a 10km run, we’d be shamed for it. "How obsessive," people would say. "Just relax."

We must be chill! Relaxed! Who cares! Eat all the things! Never say no to a champers!

HOWEVER.

If any of that maxo relaxo living should have its natural impact on our bodies, hoo boy. You’d better start "fixing" it! We must IMMEDIATELY bounce those bodies back to their pre-festive state.

I’m not saying it’s wrong to hit the ground running in January with fitness classes and salads. I feel mentally well when I’m in good physical shape. I support healthy eating and healthy exercise and aim for it myself because it does help me mentally; it does feel good to feel strong and to move my body regularly.

What I’m saying is it’s not only irrational but also completely revolting that we are expected to go through the fun, excess-driven chaos that is December and then drive our bodies into the ground trying to get them to their pre-Christmas shape.

So you know what? I’ve popped that go-to dress back in the cupboard and I’m just wearing what feels comfortable. I’m easing myself back into my usual routine of pilates and some short jogs. I’m eating normally, not restrictively, and while I’ve definitely cut back on the drinking, I’m choosing not to feel guilty when I have a few too many with friends on the weekend. 

I’m done with the pressure of it all.

Melissa is a freelance writer. You can find her on Instagram and TikTok.

Feature Image: Supplied.