This week was my last ever day of maternity leave, for my last ever baby.
And I could not have been happier.
I appreciate this may be a little difficult for some people to hear or understand. However, I suspect there may be more than a few other parents out there who feel a little like me.
I realise I am extremely fortunate to have four healthy, happy children aged six and under, however let’s cut to the chase. It is the most relentless, bone-achingly exhausting, thankless, filthy, job you could ever do — for absolutely no pay at all.
The conditions are appalling — 24/7 rolling shifts, no holidays, no sick leave, no toilet or meal breaks.
The treatment by your clients is abysmal — they will scream at you, subject you to sleep deprivation, torture, demand you deal with their faecal substances and still expect dinner.
Sometimes people ask me what it is like having four children so small and by ‘sometimes’ I mean constantly, everywhere I go.
I say, “Imagine you’re so busy you never get to go to the toilet so you end up hospitalised because you haven’t been weeing enough.”
That about sums it up. Cue look of “shock and horror.”
The term “maternity leave” is completely misleading in itself. This is no leave of absence. This is going to be the hardest you have ever worked in your whole life and likely with extreme fatigue and very little recognition for what you do. There ain’t no bonus structure.
Check out some incredible Australian women who balance working and home life. (Post continues after gallery.)
Top Comments
A certain 'powerposter' on here is hilarious! If you have to defend it so much, maybe it is not all it is cracked up to be!
I'm currently pregnant, and one of the struggles I'm going through is that I will be completely redefining myself shortly - moving from 'career focused woman' to 'mum'. My mum was very, very career focused and it's caused me a lot of angst over the years as I feel very guilty for wanting a more family-focused orientation - I think me having some time at home raising our kids would be fabulous - not something I will do forever, but not to be discounted.
At any rate, I'm still working out what we'll do - which will change and I will hash out with my husband, but I'm planning on going back to work (even just part time), more for my sanity than for any feminist reasons. My husband will be primary breadwinner for a few years - mostly because he out earns me rather than any gender issues. He would be verrrry happy to be a house husband and perhaps we will swap if the opportunity arises.
I'm a staunch feminist, but I think that there are lots of ways to talk/show your kids about gender equality without having to have the "you MUST go back to work" talk. EG ensuring that you have practical ways to share the parenting work, ensure that mum has an outlet for skill development even if it isn't paid work - eg studying a short course, taking part in P&C committee can actually be great opportunity for working within teams and project work.
These kinds of conversations and actions come from a space where husband and wife work together and can have ongoing conversations with kids (both genders) about what priorities mean, how they can change and how "having it all" can be a dangerous concept.