The following is an excerpt from Alison Daddo's book Queen Menopause: Finding your majesty in the mayhem - a friendly, frank, compassionate and comprehensive companion for any woman experiencing menopause, or anyone wondering what to expect.
This post mentions sexual assault and could be triggering for some readers.
Chapter 5: Relationships, love, sex.
To love a person is to see all their magic, and to remind them of it when they have forgotten. - Mark Groves.
The relationship dance.
Having my marriage to Cam somewhat played out in the media as the 'perfect couple', I expect people must think it’s been all rainbows, love hearts and cupids singing us to sleep at night.
While there have been many moments like that, we’ve also come incredibly close to leaving each other. I have loved, hated, loved Cam more times than I can count. Each time we nearly separated, we dug back in and grew. We learned a little more about ourselves and each other and what love really looks and feels like. What commitment means.
There is a dance that we do. Sometimes we dance together, sometimes apart, and sometimes—my least favourite—we dance until our toes are smashed by the other and we lie bleeding on the dance floor. Those dances can take a while to heal from and they usually require a bunch of kind-hearted women to carry you off the dance floor and bandage you up.
Watch: Cameron and Alison Daddo share marriage secrets. Post continues after video.
There is something really beautiful about being with someone from such a young age. We have been there for each other for so many life-changing experiences. So much history resides in our marriage. There are scars, sure, and there are patterns that still need tending to or else we find ourselves repeating behaviour that is just plain destructive.
Marriages fall apart for all sorts of reasons, and some really need to end. I feel fortunate to love someone so deeply and have that returned, and to know we were both willing to ride that rollercoaster together. I hate rollercoasters, by the way; I prefer the carousel, but that’s relationships for you.